Joker Kind
by cicir
Summary: It seemed to smile at her, its nose twitching. Her eyesight slowly faded from green to black as the lusus whipped its head to the left. The last thing she saw was purple. The last thing she heard was a quiet Crunch. Current ships forming: GamzeeJade, TavrosVriska, DaveJohn, DaveKarkat, KarkatTerezi, RoseKanaya, EridanSollux, and whatever else people ask for.
1. Chapter 1

"BANG BANG BANG!"

"STOP MOVING!"

"BANG BANG!"

"AUGH!"

"BANG click click click..." Jade cursed, captchaloging her gun and checking her Pistol Kind Bullet Card. Empty. Cursing again, she glanced up, hoping the beast didn't notice her lack of a weapon...

It noticed. It was barrelling toward her at full speed, its teeth bared. Once it was in range, it pounced. Panicking, she stepped backward, catching her foot on a root, twisting it, and plummeting to the ground. The beast flew over her, its claws just barely grazing her face as she fell, and slammed into a rock, its head making a loud crunching noise. Jade didn't hesitate, and quickly stood. Pain shot through her foot, and she almost collapsed, balancing herself on the tree beside her. A small trickle of blood dripped down her cheek. The beast behind her groaned, and backed up a few inches, shaking its head left and right. Jade glanced over her shoulder, and began to hobble away, trying to get some distance between her and the beast.

If I only get far enough... a little further... a little further... She kept hobbling, and finally, deciding she was far enough away, pulled out her rifle. she whipped around, expecting to see the beast 30 feet away, just as she had calculated. Far enough for her to snipe without it clawing her. She could survive if-

The beast was 10 feet away, and closing in, it's white teeth bared, its claws tinged with the green of her blood. Whatever reserves of adrenaline she had left released into her bloodstream. She hefted the rifle up to her shoulder, and, without wasting time aiming, shot. The bullet hit its target, and the creature let out an ear splitting screech, standing on its back legs, and swinging its arms through the air. She pulled out another bullet from her Rifle Kind Bullet Card, and began to clumsily reload her gun, her fingers shaking. The bullet fell through her fingers, tumbling to the ground, bouncing away. She stared at it for a millisecond, cursed, and tried to pull out another bullet.

Empty.

"FUCK!" she cursed.

"SHUUUUUUUUUUOOOOAAHHH!" the beast responded. She looked up, face pale, and flipped her rifle over, now holding it like a club, and waited. She didn't have to wait long for the beast to recover, as the shot grazed its shoulder. It stared down at her, deep brown blood soaking its white fur, crazed eyes threatening death. It swung its paw at her, the paw flying through the air like a wrecking ball. She held the rifle like a bat, and twisted her feet, cringing at the pain, swinging the rifle through the air in retaliation. It slammed into the creature's paw, but bounced off painlessly. The paw kept coming, bashing into her side, and sending her flying. She hit a tree, her head snapping back, and then fell to the floor below her. Unable to move, unable to breath, she lay there, paralyzed, letting her eyesight slowly go green as the creature bounded toward her. It was so white.

Why were wild Lusus' always white? So you could see how little damage you did before it claws you to death?

She only had a few more moments to stare at the white of the lusus as it charged. It was feet from her, taking its sweet time now that she wasn't moving. It seemed to smile at her, its nose twitching. Her eyesight slowly faded from green to black as the lusus whipped its head to the left. The last thing she saw was purple. The last thing she heard was a quiet Crunch. Was it quiet? Or was it just her inability to hear?

She didn't know. Maybe it was the sound of her own skull being crushed. Maybe she's dead now. She played with those thoughts for the last few moments of her consciousness, and then it all slipped away.


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke, she wished she hadn't. Every muscle, every sinew, and every bone screamed in pain as she regained consciousness. Fighting the pain, she pried her eyes open.

And then quickly snapped them shut. Her heart skipped a beat as her mind fluttered around the image she just glimpsed. Everything was stained brown. chunks of blood matted fur were skewed about, and the surrounding trees dripped brown liquid. She could faintly hear the pap pap pap of the droplets falling on to the soggy ground below. The smell of copper assailed her nostrils as she coughed, swallowing, and letting out a small whimper.

Seemingly in response to the whimper, something began to move near her, rustling the leaves as it shifted. Jade froze. Her heart skipping beats again, she quietly reached down to her sylladex, resting her hand on it. She took a deep breath, and listened, waiting. After a few moments, the sound ensued again, and she tensed. Ignoring the pain, she pushed herself up with the hand not on her sylladex, shakily standing on her good leg. She touched her sylladex, pulling out her trusty PaperKind, and swinging it toward the noise, finally popping her eyes open.

Her hand stopped mid air as her wrist twisted up, causing her to drop her weapon. It fell to the ground, landing with a soft "Thump." She twitched, looking at the large hand wrapped around her wrist as it cut off the circulation in her own. The fingers were rather long, but gave off a sense of strength as they bore on her thin bones. Her own light grey skin seemed to glow in comparison to the dark grey skin of the chiseled hand.

She let her eyes wander up the arm, taking quick note of the equally chiseled features of the forearm and bicep, the shoulder unfortunately hidden under a brown stained shirt.

Shirt.

She took a quick glance at the symbol on the shirt, her breath catching in her throat as she notices the deep purple of the curling N. _High Blood_ she thought, her face going pale. _I'm screwed! _She thought of her own sign. The two circles connected by arching lines marking her mutant blood. Marking her for hatred by all noble bloods. Meeting up with a high blood was almost certain death for her. She couldn't help but scoff slightly at the irony of jumping out of the pot, and landing in the boiling water. Her eyes sank as she bowed her head, staring at her own feet.

She twitched as the High Blood began to speak, the voice deep, husky, and slow. "Motherfuckin' miracle that I found you in time. Any later, and you'da been lusus chow. That wouldn'ta been fun. So... yeah. You sure you should be standing? Your ankle is kinda jutting out in an awkward way, and you're making yourself bleed more with all that paper swingin' an' stuff." Jade glanced at her ankle, inhaling deeply as the adrenaline stopped doing its job, and the pain hit her. She stumbled, unable to keep weight on the ankle any longer. "Mother Fuckin" The High Blood released her wrist, quickly grasping her shoulders to steady her. She stubbornly pulled away, attempting to stand on her good leg, but failed, falling backward.

She never hit the ground. In the blink of an eye, the High Blood was behind her, his arms under hers. He easily caught her, lowering her to the grass under their feet. "See? What did I tell you? Jegus!" He quickly walked to her front, kneeling down, his legs spread out, his arms hanging to the ground. His pants looked rather comfortable, with white spots here and there, some of them stained brown. She took a gander at his face.

It was covered in what looked like paint. She couldn't quite tell since it was smeared back and forth, and muddled with lusus blood. His features were striking though. They seemed strong, but wise. Like he had experienced it all, but still held life in a light manner. His eyes were averted down as he looked inquisitively at her ankle. He bit his lip, staring at the twisted bone. He reached out a hand, and hovered a few inches above her ankle. His hand stopped, and he looked up at her face, frowning. "Uhh... Sorry bout' this..." His hands then moved like Strider, one grasping above her ankle, one grasping below. He pulled and twisted, her bones grinding as they splintered.

She screamed, lifting her good foot and slamming it into his face. He didn't budge, but kept twisting her ankle. She kicked again and again, trying to push him away, screaming all the while.

_Oh GOG! Why does he have to torture me? Just kill me now!_

Suddenly, the pain subsided. She looked down. Her ankle, still limp, looked much more normal. She blinked, and realized what he was doing.

_Oh..._

She could feel her face grow hot as it flushed a light green. The High Blood looked up, smiling. "That better?"

Her face grew hotter as she nodded, guilt weighing on her shoulders. "Uhh... Sorry I.. uhh... Kicked you..."

The High Blood laughed "Oh don't worry! Barely hurt! You should stick to guns. You can't hit for shit!" His smile grew wider as she frowned. "No offense, but it's true." He stood, turning away from her, scanning the area. After a few moments, he keeps speaking, walking over to her gun, and picking it up. "Name's Gamzee Makara. I'm a Chill Motherfucker. Woah. Shit. You did a number on this thing. What'd you do, use it as a bat?" He lifted up her gun, or at least the remnants of her gun. The barrel was twisted, the handle's wood shattered, the whole thing covered in green and brown. She couldn't help but flush again at his bulls eye.

"Uhh... Yeah... I ran out of bullets..."

Gamzee stared at her incredulously, his eyes wide. His face twitched for a moment, and then he burst into laughter, falling back, his face glowing a light purple. "You WHAT? You seriously used it as a bat? Against a fucking LUSUS? AHAHA! I'm not quite sure if you're a mother fucking genius, mother fucking brave, or just a mother fucking idiot! That's funny as shit! AHAHAHAHA!" He rolled in the grass, holding his stomach. She stared, shocked and mortified at his response to her last futile attempt at survival.

"I mean, you could have stabbed it with the end or something. But you... you... you tried to play Trollball! HAHA!" He wiped a purple tear from the corner of his eye. "Honk. Sorry. That was mother fucking funny as shit!" He calmed down a bit, sitting up and looking at her. His face seemed puzzled as he scanned her up and down. "How the fuck did you survive for so long? You're super ass weak!"

Jade stared at him incredulously for a moment, and then frowned when she realized he had insulted her. "Now hold on just a minute! I'm not THAT weak. Just a little... unpracticed in the... uhh... hand to hand combat aspect of fighting. But I'm pretty good with a gun." She stuck out her upper lip, crossing her arms in front of her. Gamzee smiled.

"Okay. I believe you. You'll have to show me some time."

"Okay. I will. And you will be amazed!" She smiled back. A few moments of silence passed. Jade coughed in the silence. "Well... I should probably be heading back now. It's getting light." She shifted, rolling onto her side, and pushing herself up. For a few moments, she had forgotten that her ankle was broken. She quickly remembered again as she tumbled back to the ground. Once again, she was in Gamzee's arms.

He snorted. "I swear. You're a helpless little troll." He bent down, wrapping his arm around her waist, lifting her off the ground, and slinging her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, her butt inches from his face, her head hanging to the middle of his back. She grunted.

"Hey! What are you doing?" She tried to push herself up and out of his arms, but his grip was firm.

"You can't walk right now. Where's your hive?" He turned his head back to look at her face, but couldn't quite reach. Instead, he just looked at his shoulder, snorting as she replied reluctantly.

"It should be a few miles north. It's not a very big hive." She tried again to make herself comfortable by pushing her elbows into the ridge of his back, propping her head up on her hands. She began to bounce up and down as he loped foreword, easily traversing the ragged grounds of the forest surrounding her hive. He easily vaulted over fallen trees, juking left and right to dodge oncoming trees. She quickly lost her ability to prop herself up, letting her upper body just bob up and down, back and forth as he traversed miles of land in a matter of minutes.

After what seemed to be only seconds, he jerked to a stop, and in one movement, flipped her off his shoulder, and twisted her around, firmly placing his arms under her shoulders and knees. He nodded his head toward a small abode in the front of the. "Is that your house?"

She looked up. Her face grew pale, her body stiff. She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. "Oh shit."

Gamzee silently nodded. "Mother fucking shit."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Quick note: This chapter has a little more bad words and stuff, and some violence. I'm catering to a few different audiences here. Keep reading, and you'll reach a more happy time later in this chapter! This chapter is gonna be friggin long!

Her hive was a small little abode. It looked like a small hut that a fairy would inhabit. When she was just a little wriggler, she had quite a lot of fun designing it with her Lusus. She felt it matched her and her lusus' personality very well. Small, cute, but deadly when it wanted to be. Underneath her hive, underground, lay a mansion of arsenal, ranging from long range missiles and rifles to slingshots and rubber-band guns. It even had a separate room just for her lusus' collars.

Her lusus was a unique one. Its name was Bec. It was rather small and docile, but packed a punch when it needed to. Together with her army's arsenal, she was normally able to fight off the hazing of Common Bloods because of her mutant caste.

But that was all. Common Bloods.

Noble Bloods were a different story. A story she had never had to face until today. Now, in the arms of a Noble Blood stranger, covered head to toe in brown and green blood, with a shattered ankle, bruises all over her body, a splitting headache, blurry vision, and no ammunition, a group of ten Nobles stand in front of her hive, each proudly bearing the purple Capricorn sign, each wielding a weapon, each with their lusus in tow, teeth bared.

Jade's face blanched as her jaw clamped shut. Gog! I'm such an idiot! she thought, digging her nails into Gamzee's arm. How could she fall for such a trick? An abnormally large lusus, saved by a Noble, carried to her hive. Ten Nobles quietly waiting...

Her mind reeled as she began to speed through all her chances of survival.

If I call Bec, we can be out of this area before they know what happened... She thought. She inhaled quietly, ready to call, but then she noticed it.

In front of the nobles.

Covered in that familiar blue blood.

It's fur matted, ears limp.

It whines.

"BEC!" She cried, leaning forward, surprising Gamzee. He topples forward along with her, trying to keep his balance as she struggles to reach her fallen companion.

The Nobles attacked. Taking the one moment of weakness, they released their lusus', following quietly behind as the lusus' bound onward. Gamzee turns his head, and seeing the lusus' charging, frowns. He re-adjusts his grasp on Jade, now carrying her like a football, and lopes back.

"No mother-fucking way you're taking my new toy from me, you mother-fucking Lusus'!" He reaches into his pocket, lightly touching his sylladex. The world flashes in front of them as the sylladex opens, releasing its miracle glowing flashes. The Lusus' recoil as if struck with a flash bomb. He stares at the lights for a moment, completely mesmerized, but after a few seconds, remembers what's going on, and reaches out to the cards hidden in the light. He touches the one he wants, releasing it on the battlefield.

The Miracle Powder explodes out of the card, flying in all directions, refracting the light from his Miracle Deck, blinding everyone in the vicinity. He laughs, giddy, and moves into action.

Jade, still in his arms, blind and still in shock, doesn't clue in to what's going on until she is leaning against the wall of her hive, Bec's almost lifeless body next to her, Gamzee standing in front of her, wielding two juggling pins. He spins them around his hands, licking the glitter off his lips, still smiling.

It was then she realized her mistake. Gamzee was not part of the trap. He was just a weird juggalo troll traversing the forest when he came upon a damsel in distress. He was her lucky strike on a very unlucky day.

His sylladex resets as the powder slowly settles. The battlefield loses its blinding illumination, and the nobles' forms slowly become more clear.

They're pissed.

A few of them-the younger looking ones- spit on the ground, glaring at Gamzee, grumbling things like "Dishonorable High Blood," and "Sopor Idiot," but most of them just stare, crouched, frowning.

One, the oldest of the ten, hisses, "Gamzee! What are you doing! We understand your disbelief in the caste, but that... thing... is a mutant. You know our job. The Mutant Purge has been going on for 2 sweeps now. She is one of the last ones standing. The only reason we haven't found her so far is because of her stupid... What kind of fucking lusus is that thing anyway?" Bec whines in response.

Gamzee's eyes widen as his jaw drops. He speaks, his voice surprised, but calm. "Shit, man. You're one mother fucking asshole. How bout' you just turn around, walk away, and leave my new moirail alone?"

Jade's jaw drops in turn, and she opens her mouth to protest, but quickly realizes that now is not the best of times... She pulls out a piece of string, and wraps it around her pinky, tying it in a small bow, pulling it tight.

The lead High Blood blinks in surprise, and his face slowly gains a purplish hue as his anger boils. "Your... MOIRAIL? Fuck this. I'm done with your sopor slime infested bullshit." His head tilts slightly as he addresses his posse, "Target changed. Kill both of them."

Without another word, the attack begins again. The High Bloods progress onward, wielding their respective weapons, all charging straight toward Gamzee. The lusus' follow suit, charging behind. Gamzee's smile returns to his face as lopes up to meet them full force, and bludgeons the first lusus across the head, sending it flying backward into a tree. He kicks a High Blood shortly after, sending him flying into the lusus now limp on the ground.

By this time, the rest have gotten to Gamzee's position, and begin to attack him simultaneously. He holds them off quite well, but was gaining no ground. In fact, he was slowly losing his footing as they pushed him further and further into a corner.

Jade swallows. He's strong, but there are 18 of them total! 9 lusus, 9 trolls. I need to help! Her mind reeled for a few moments, but her body already knew what to do. She began to drag herself through the door of her hive, her broken ankle limply falling behind. After a short while, she reaches her transportalizer, and it sends her down. When she reaches her destination, she smiles. Struggling to stand on her good foot, she hobbles over to her favorite case, pulling out the only other companion she has besides Bec.

A Girl's Best Friend.

Her smile widens as she cocks the gun, placing it in her strife syllabus. She stops for one more moment, and looks in her artillery case. She reaches in, and pulls out an ordinary rifle. She bends down, resting it against her bad leg, and pulls out a long string from her pocket. She wraps the string around the gun and her leg, holding it tight against her skin.

Eh. It'll work. I never thought I'd use my rifle as a leg brace, though... With that last thought, and a new walking apparatus stuck to her leg, she more confidently stumbles back to the transportalizer.

This time, it takes her to the roof.

She staggers to the edge of the roof, plopping to the ground and pulling out her gun. She takes a few moments to survey the damage done while she was gone.

2 lusus, 8 trolls. It seemed the first troll had survived impact, and was now back in the fight, albeit quite handicapped. It was a different troll that seemed to be torn limb from limb, some body parts hanging from the branches of surrounding trees.

Jade was impressed. In a matter of 2 minutes, Gamzee had taken out one troll, and 7 more lusus, and was now going for an 8th, all while battling off the progression of the other High Bloods.

But she could tell he was wearing out. The juggling pins, although painted with blood, were spinning in his hands much slower, and his own footing seemed more clumsy. She knew he wouldn't last much longer.

At least, without help.

She smiled slightly, resting her trusty gun in front of her, and staring through the scope.

She inhaled.

BANG!

A troll immediately fell, blood pouring from the new found hole in his think pan. She took no time to celebrate victory as she aimed again, taking out a second, third, and fourth troll in a matter of 30 seconds. (During this time, Gamzee had successfully dispatched the remaining lusus by grabbing both of their heads, and slamming them together, shouting something along the lines of "I now pronounce you Lusus and wife! You may kiss the monster!") The remaining trolls, after the fourth shooting, took notice of the new threat. Two of the remaining four reverted their course, now sprinting toward her. With the pull of a trigger, one of them fell, and she turned the gun to aim at the second.

She stared through the scope.

Too close. Too close! TOO CLOSE!

The troll kicked the gun, slamming the scope into her eye, and sending her skidding across the roof. She stopped, her head hanging off the edge of the roof, and quickly swung her gun toward the troll. He was inches from her, his hand wrapped around barrel of her gun, tilting it away from him.

He smiled, tilting his head. It was the old one. The Lead High Blood. His purple eyes were crazed as he jerked his hand upward, ripping the gun from her grasp. "Too close for you, huh? Can't shoot me now, huh? Tch! Mutants. Useless." He lifted his foot off the ground, and with incomparable speed, slammed it into her chest, pinning her to the roof. He shoved the barrel of the gun into her mouth, sneering. "Useless, and weak." He pulled the trigger.

"Click."

Jade smiled.

"Click Click Click."

She lifted her hand from where it calmly rested by her side, swinging her gun's magazine back and forth. The remaining bullets tumble out, scattering across the roof, and she chucks the metal cartridge at his face. It lands with a satisfying thud straight on his nose, jerking his head back. She takes this chance to wrap her arms around his leg, twisting it to the side as she lifts her good foot, kicking him in the back. He topples forward, tumbling over the edge of the roof. The barrel of the gun removes itself from her mouth as he falls, and she quickly spins around, following him over the edge.

As they fall downward, she twists and spins through the air until she is positioned just as she wants. she bends her knee, aiming her bad foot straight at the head of the Lead High Blood. Her finger lightly touches the trigger of her leg brace.

BANG!

At such a close range, his head practically explodes. Moments later, his limp body hits the ground, and she realizes the fatal flaw of her perfectly executed plan.

She was falling.

Oh for Gog's sake!

She closed her eyes, preparing for impact. It came from the side instead, her momentum changing from "down" to "Left." She opened her eyes to see Gamzee smiling at her as he slowly trots to a stop.

He speaks as he sets her on the ground, "Shit, man. You're fucking deadly with a gun! That was a mother fucking miracle right there. I tell you! 6 trolls in 3 mother fucking minutes!"

Jade relaxed in the grass, finally allowing herself to breathe again. "Oh come on. You took out 10 lusus, and 4 trolls. I'm not good at all compared to you!" She closed her eyes, enjoying the silence after such a battle. Her ears twitch slightly at the sound of Gamzee plopping down next to her, folding his legs under him.

"Yeah. But I thought you were a mother fucking lame ass after what happened with that lusus in the forest. Guess I was wrong."

Jade sighs. "I was just out of bullets. I suck at hand to hand and close range."

"Oh. Yeah..." They fell silent for a while. Gamzee then spoke up again, "Oh, by the way, what is that string you put on your pinky earlier?"

Jade looks down at her hand, and, seeing the string, remembers. She jerks up to a sitting position, staring accusingly at Gamzee. "MOIRAIL! Since when! How did I become you Moirail? We've known eachother for, like, 30 minutes!"

Gamzee stares at her for a moment, and then smiles wide. "Well, I don't have a moirail, and I know you don't. So I thought, 'hey! Why not!' so you're my moirail now!" He beamed at her as if he had just found his long lost older sister. She glared at him.

"I do not fill my quadrants so easily. I barely know you! I refuse. Find a different moirail. Or at least prove to me that you're worth a space in my quadrant!" She crossed her arms, nodding her head in satisfaction at her "telling off." Gamzee frowned.

"I saved your life." He said, attempting to persuade her.

She did not fall for it. "And I saved yours. You wouldn't have been able to take all 8 trolls."

"I carried you all the way home." He countered again.

"Like a potato sack!" She spat.

He frowned again. "So... I have to prove to you somehow that I am worthy of a space in your quadrant?"

"No duh!"

"hmm... OH!" He suddenly stands up, jumping into the air, and then placing his hands on his hips. "I understand now! You want to come with me so I can prove to you this stuff! Why didn't you just ask? You were just lonely! I get it! Well then, go pack up your stuff! I'll get your lusus." He trots away toward her hive as she sits there, dumbstruck.

"Wait... WHAT?"


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

**Another Friendly Note: I read your guys's comments, and take them into account. I dislike answering questions asked though. You're going to have to wait and be patient ;) But I WILL answer your questions IN the story. For example, what defines mutant blood, and the whole caste system (in My story at least), and *when* the other characters come in. Just be patient ;) **

Oh! And if you have any suggestions or pleas or things you want in my story, just leave a comment! If I like it, I'll try to incorporate it!

Oh! And *asterisks* around words mean they are thoughts (Since italics aren't working on my computer as of this moment .

She clambered to her feet, following quickly behind him, swinging her dud leg wildly to keep up. "Coming with you? What do you mean?"

Gamzee laughed, reaching the house, and bending down to look at Bec. "It's simple. I'm not leaving you here. You're going to come with me! You'll love my group of friends! You can't stay here anyway. The High Bloods have found you. They'll come again with more, and stronger trolls. So you GOTTA come with me either way. But this way, I can prove my quadrant worthiness to you too!" He lifts Bec's head off the ground, and carefully opens its eyes. He tilts its head from side to side, frowning as he mumbles under his voice, "It seems Feferi will have a lot to do..." He carefully lifts Bec off the ground, and slings the lusus over his shoulders, wearing it like he would a scarf. He turns to Jade, who is still standing there, mouth agape. "Well? Come on! Get your stuff! The sooner we leave, the sooner we arrive!"

"But... I..." She stammered as Gamzee waltzed into her house, turning back and forth.

"You will need a few pairs of clothes, and weapons. And maybe we could eat before we go. Cuz I don't think I can carry both of you... so you're going to have to walk... Hey! Come on! Let's get a move on!" He turned back to Jade, who was still standing in the doorway, shocked.

She blinked a few times, and shook her head from side to side. "But... I don't... I'm happy here..."

Gamzee sighed, walking over to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "You can't stay here." For the first time, she truly looked into his eyes. They were still the bright yellow of a youngling, but they shone with some sort of wisdom she had never seen before. She felt as if he somehow knew things that she didn't. Things that made her need to trust him.

And she did.

She silently nodded her head, understanding now that he was not giving her another choice. Gamzee's serious face quickly dissolved, revealing the smile he normally wore. "Great!" He laughed a bit. "Go get your stuff!" She nodded, walking to the transportalizer. Right before she stepped on the portal, Gamzee called once again. "Hey!" She turned, eyebrows raised. He was frowning slightly. "I don't think I ever got your name..."

Jade couldn't help but giggle as she felt her anxiety slowly dissipate. For the first time that day, she was beginning to feel like her normal self again, able to smile, goof off, and laugh. She grinned wildly, and curtsied to Gamzee, bowing her head slightly. "You, sir Gamzee, can call me Jade Harley, if you please. I am part of the Cancer Caste, with the mutant blood color of Lime Green... Whatever a lime is... that's just what they call it... My lusus' name is Bec, and I am the Witch of Space. It's a pleasure to meet you!" She straightens from her bow, grinning happily now.

*Maybe this journey will be more fun than I'm giving it.* She thinks as Gamzee smiles back at her. She then steps onto the platform, and disappears.

She appears in her room, and happily skips to her closet. *Hmm~ what should I pack?* She stares at the clothes in her closet, and thinks for a while. *Not much, I suppose. I already have my 5 computers... Maybe just...*

She captchalogues her closet.

And then her artillery room.

And then her garden.

She smiles thankfully as her newest sylladex has finally proven worth the effort it took to get it. She had no idea why it was called "Dad's wallet," But it could pretty much carry anything she wanted (she even bet it could carry a bomb the size of a planet).

She comes back to the main room after visiting the kitchen. She offers some snacks to Gamzee, and they nibble a bit before they leave. As they munch, Gamzee stares at Jade's leg, frowning. After a while, he speaks his concerns. "I don't think we're going to get anywhere fast with this Lusus on my shoulders, and you with a broken ankle. We're going to need some way of transportation for you."

Jade nods in agreement, twiddling with a few of the strings around her fingers. She looks at the one she had placed on her pinky earlier, and, realizing it was no longer necessary, pulls it off. She twists it in her fingers for a few moments before letting it go, following it with her eyes as it fluttered to the ground, getting caught on the leg of the chair she sat on, hovering inches off the ground.

Hovering.

Hovering.

Her eyes grew wide as it clued in. She slammed her hands on the table as she jumped to her feet. She stumbles for a moment as her ankle complains, causing Gamzee to also jump out of his chair and quickly support her. She nodded her thanks quickly, but moved onto the true topic of her jumping immediately. "Hovering! That's how!"

Gamzee stared at her, dumbstruck. "Huh?"

Jade only smiled wider, pulling away from his firm grasp and hobbling over to the transportalizer. Gamzee followed behind. "Uhh... I just realized this, but you probably shouldn't be walking on that leg. Not a mother fucking good idea."

"Oh shush. I won't be for long." She stepped onto the transportalizer, and turned around, waiting for Gamzee. "I'm going to need your help a bit though. Get over here!" He steps onto the pad after her, and together, they zap off to the empty space where her artillery room used to be. She hobbles through the dark empty space toward a door in the distance, Gamzee trailing silently behind. When she reaches the door, she quickly opens it, and waltzes clumsily in. The lights automatically flick on, revealing her workshop.

If you could call it that.

It looked more like the scattered burial grounds of broken down Imperial Drones and failed attempts at new technology. Arms and legs were scattered everywhere, wires skewed over everything, Drone torso's lined up against the wall, gutted and rusting. White boards and chalk boards lay round, with numbers and formulas hastily jot down all over their surface. In one corner lay a very large pile of something, covered in a dark sheet. Gamzee couldn't stop his mouth from gaping open as she walked to the center of the scattered mess, beckoning for him to follow him. "This is my workshop! I take the drones that show up here, and, you know, try to kill me... Anyway, I take them, and try and make new stuff in here. I've already made a good 7 different weapons using just their arms! But I was thinking, if you give me maybe 10 minutes, I can try to make a hoverboard with some of their jet parts in their feet. We could put Bec or me on it, and that way everything would go much faster! All I have to do is-"

"What is that pile of stuff in the corner?" Gamzee cut in, interrupting her long train of thought with his impatient curiosity. Jade's face turns green as she blushes.

"Uhh... Sometimes... uhh... Don't worry about it." She stops talking, hobbling over to a pile of Drone feet, her ears bright green. "If I'm going to get this to work, we've got to start with a base. Let's take these feet, and one of the least rusty of the torsos..." Gamzee continued to stare at the pile of mystery in the corner. Jade frowned. "Hey! Gamzee! This way! Come on!" Gamzee snapped out of his drone, and followed her over to the pile of feet.

They began their work, Jade telling Gamzee what to do, and where to tie what wires to make the board functional. Gamzee lazily followed orders, taking random glanced here and there at the pile in the corner.

*what WAS it?*

THey set up a base of feet encasing the back half of the torso of a Drone, each foot wired with the other, and tied to the torso. Jade pointed to a pile of battery packs in the corner, and Gamzee retrieved two. He placed them on the torso, and followed Jade's careful instructions on how to hook them up with the feet's jet system. The makeshift hoverboard revved to life, now hovering quietly a few feet above the ground. Jade squealed, clapping her hands together.

"I'm not good at anything complicated, but I can put rudimentary stuff together to make something usable. This SHOULD do the trick." She smiled, patting it proudly. Gamzee stared at it for a moment, thinking.

Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. He smiled at his own genius. "Can I try it?"

Jade smiled, "Sure!"

Without further invitation, Gamzee hopped onto the hovercraft thing, and tilted it to the left a few inches. It moved left.

*eh. easy enough. I can totally do this and make it look like an accident...*

"Woah... WOAH!" He leaned forward, and the hoverboard shot in the exact direction as he planned, shooting him toward the mystery pile.

His plan: go flying toward the pile while screaming bloody murder. When he's close enough, he makes it seem like he regained control, twisting the board to use the Mystery Pile as a base of push off. The hovering technology, he believed, should easily push the sheet off the pile, solving the mystery.

What happened: Everything was going as planned until the "use the pile as a push off point." When he twisted the board, placing the base against the pile, the sheet fluttered away as he guessed it would. What he didn't account for, though, was the fact that the surface underneath the hovercraft was now moving. He lost control of the craft as it swung from side to side. After a few futile attempts to regain balance, he toppled off the board, and into the Mystery Pile.

Which, through Gamzee's plan, was no longer mysterious.

Jade flinched back, closing her eyes as Gamzee landed headfirst into the pile of filled buckets, sending them clattering across the room. She opened her eyes again to see Gamzee in the middle of a sea of buckets and liquid, each of his feet resting in a separate bucket, his tush also in its own receptacle. She flinched as a final bucket lodged itself, upside down, in between his horns, emptying its contents right on his head. He plastered his mouth shut as the liquid ran slowly down his face.

"OH MY GOSH!" Jade ran forward, tripping here and there on her broken ankle as she rushed toward him. "Are you alright?" She halted for a few moments in front of the pile of buckets before clambering over them to help Gamzee up. She took his hand and pulled him away from the pile. They toppled backwards, tumbling down the pile and landing at the bottom, Gamzee on top of jade.

Gamzee blinks for a few moments, shocked, staring down at Jade. She stares up at him with a mirrored expression. The liquid in his hair lightly runs down his face, and ends up falling on Jade's face. She blinks when it touches her light grey skin. The bucket dislodged itself from in-between Gamzee's horns, clattering to the ground right above Jade's head. They still lay there in complete silence.

And then Gamzee burst into laughter, rolling away from Jade, holding his stomach as he gasped for breath.

Jade, on the other hand, still staring at the ceiling, lightly lifts her hand to her face, wiping the small drop of liquid away. Her eyes wide, she blushed madly, mind reeling.

*He was... 5 inches away...* she inhaled deeply, her lungs unable to keep up with her mind. *He smelled like... Faygo... NO! Jade! Snap out of it! You've known him for at most 3 hours! Stop this idiotic redrom mindfuckery right now!* With that quick pep talk, she shooed away any lingering thoughts, and hoisted herself up.

"Shouldn't we clean you up and get going? It's going to get unbearably light in a matter of hours."

Gamzee sat up, caught his breath, and nodded. "You're right. We should."

"Good. There's a shower in the room to the left. I'm sure you've got a spare pair of clothes captchalogued, am I correct?"

"yeah."

"Kay good. I'll strap Bec to this thing while you shower. It should only take a little while, so hurry up."

"Kay!" He walks off to the next room as Jade snags the hovercraft from the corner of the room where it had safely landed after the... Jade sighed, walking to the Transportalizer, and returning to the main room, taking the craft with her. She reaches the front room, and takes to the task of lifting Bec off the ground, and onto the hovercraft.

It proved more difficult than she expected, especially with her broken ankle. She tugs and pulls, but is unable to get Bec any more than 3 inches to the left or right. After a while, she collapses, resting her back against Bec's large side.

*How did Gamzee lift Bec so easily? It's so heavy!*

She leaned into Bec, inhaling the familiar scent. She smiled, appreciating her luck as a young troll to get such a loyal lusus. Her smile faded away as Bec whined weakly, her appreciation turning into worry. She reached up and stroked Bec's head.

"You'll be okay, Bec. Don't worry. I won't let you die. Don't worry." She wiped away a small green tear.

"Yup! No mother fucking worries! We've got this shit in the bag!" Gamzee appeared in the room, wearing fresh clothes, his hair dripping wet. Jade looked up at him, and he smiled at her. "Unable to get him off the ground, eh? You really are only good at one thing." He walked over to Bec, squatting near its head.

"Hmmmm... Well!" He stands up, and then quickly wraps his arms around Bec's body, hefting it off the ground. Jade tumbles to the side as her backrest is removed. Gamzee looks down for a second,

"Oh. Oops. Sorry..." He lightly places Bec on the hovercraft, and it sags slightly under the Lusus' weight. He then turns to Jade.

"Can I have some of your string?" He holds his hand out expectantly. She reaches into her pocket, and hands him some light blue string. He takes it, and quickly creates a leash connecting himself to the hovercraft. Proud of his handiwork, he reaches down, and picks Jade up carefully, bridal style.

"Is that better than potato sack style?" He asks, looking down at her.

She refused to blush, but nods quietly. Gamzee smiles, and takes off out the door and toward the forest. He, once again, easily ducks and dodges trees and hops over obstacles. They flew speedily through the forest. Jade lost her bearings as the trees flew past her in every direction, and she knew that if she changed her mind, she would not be able to return home anyway. She gave up, closed her eyes, and rested her head on Gamzee's shoulder.

Gamzee, who had been easily loping through the forest up to this point, stumbles ever so slightly as she rests her head on his shoulder. He blinks, and risks a quick glance down at her. Her hair flies back at the speed they are going, and her eyelashes flutter slightly in the wind. Her lips are a light grey, but shine slightly. She licks her lips slightly, and shifts in his arms, and his heart flutters for a second.

*What the motherfuck was that?* He questions his heart as he continues his lope, disconcerted. The only time he remembers his heart doing that was when he was with...

His horns slammed into a tree, and he almost toppled over. He swung his feet under him, and quickly saved his footing, attempting not to jostle Jade, who had obviously fallen asleep.

*it should be near here...*

He slowly comes to a halt, looking around. He smiles lightly, finding what he was looking for. He walks over to a veil of vines, and pushes them aside, revealing a small clearing. He walks in, speaking as he enters.

"I'm back. Brought a new mother fucking toy! Come see this shit!"


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

As the vines fell back into place behind him, Gamzee walked forward, stopping in the middle of the campsite, where a small group of trolls seemed to have congregated earlier, and were now minding their own shit. Grinning from ear to ear, He plops down on the ground in the middle of all the nonchalant action, lightly placing Jade's sleeping form next to him. He looks up at the surrounding trolls, most of which have paid him no heed whatsoever. A few though, mainly the females, have stopped their shenanigans, and were staring at Gamzee's new "toy."  
The smallest of the few crawls over to Jade's sleeping form, wiggling her nose and tilting her head slightly off skew. She reaches out her hand to touch Jade's face, each of her nails filed to a sharp point. she lightly touches one of the scrapes on her face, flinching back slightly when jade twitches. She lifts her finger to her eyes, staring at the small drop of blood slowly running down the side of her finger. She frowns. She speaks, her voice light and airy, curious and soft. "Now this is something Nepeta has never seen before. She looks at it curiously, and decides that it would be a good question to show Terezi... Terezi... What is this?" She holds her hand up, showing it to another troll whose interest was piqued the moment Gamzee walked through the vines. . The troll smiles a wide, pointy toothed grin, and quickly stands, walking easily over to the waiting Nepeta. She bends down, licking the drop of blood off Nepeta's finger, her smile growing wider.  
She licks her lips as she stands upright, her red tinted glasses making it hard for people to tell where she is looking. She stares at nothing in particular as she speaks, her voice much louder in comparison to the curious nepeta's. "This, my dear, is the signature candy flavored blood of a mutant. It seems our companion Gamzee has stumbled on a rare breed. Quite delicious, if I do say so myself. Much more sour than karkat's red blood. I will enjoy this quite a bit!" She bends down, getting closer to jade's face. She sniffs a few times, inhaling the new scent, letting it assail her nostrils. She smiled even wider, if that was even possible, and leans back, satisfied. Jade does not stir.  
A third female, sitting a bit further back, stares at jade's unmoving body. "Damn. That little bitch won't wake up for anything. You fucking raped her personal space, and she didn't even give a shit..." She falls silent for a moment, and a grin comes across her face as well. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She stands up, slipping her hand into her pocket. As she steps closer to Jade, forcing Terezi out of the way, she pulls out a small marker, a glint appearing in every one of her eight pupils. She bends down, looking closely at jade's peaceful sleeping face. "What to draw... what to draw..." As she pops off the cap, slowly advancing on the innocent face of a sleeping Troll, a fourth voice chimes in, firm and threatening.  
"Do not touch her face. There is much to be done, and I do not want you spoiling my new palate with your zit inducing ink dispenser." She looked up nonchalantly for a moment from her knitting to eye Vriska threateningly, pointing one needle at Vriska's head. "You can find other ways to pull pranks on her in other ways than destroying her perfect looking complexion before I even have a chance to experiment on it." Kanaya's eyes seem to glaze over as she fantasizes about her new model. "Oh the things I can do with that long black hair... and I bet her eyes are just as striking as her blood..." she looks down at jade with the lustful eyes of a fashion designer with new material. After a few more seconds of ogling, she returns her gaze to her knitting, humming quietly to herself. Vriska, who seconds before had been hovering over Jade's face with the marker in hand, retreated, glowering silently.  
The fifth, and final person in the group of trolls, had not moved an inch since Gamzee had walked through the vines. He had only stared upward at the sleeping package in Gamzee's arms. Now, still unmoving from his sitting post against a tree, his legs sprawled out awkwardly in front of him, he finally mustered enough courage to speak.  
"Uhh... Who..." He falls silent again, his face gaining a slight brown tint as the female trolls glance his way, Vriska with an especially venomous glare. He stares at his feet.  
Although the question was never finished, Gamzee understood, and answered anyway. "Her name is Jade Harley. She's one weird ass motherfucker, if you ask me. Found her in the forest battling it out with a lusus. Saved her ass, and brought her here." He beamed, as if he were telling the story of how he had saved a stranded puppy from drowning in a random river.

The troll leaning against the tree couldn't help but smile back. He glanced down at Jade for a moment, blinking a few times as he stared at her eyelashes. They twitched a little, and she took a deep breath, her chest moving slightly. His face grew a little darker as his eyes pulled quickly away, staring back at his unmoving feet.

"She's.. uhh... Very pretty."  
Vriska let out a snort, "Oh no Tavros! You're ALREADY falling redrom for this lime-blood? Jegus, if you get any more desperate, you're going to end up rivaling Eridan! And NO ONE wants that." She rolled her eyes, falling backwards onto the ground, staring at the treetops above them. Tavros frowned slightly, but couldn't make himself pass Vriska's remark as stupid. He looked back down at Jade's sleeping form, and pursed his lips slightly. Jade, as if feeling a disturbance in the Force, rolls onto her side, facing away from Tavros. Tavros lets out a dejected sigh, twidling his thumbs. Gamzee only smiles.  
"Dude. You haven't even seen her awake, and you've been motherfucking rejected. Tough life, man. Tough life. But don't you worry!" Suddenly, Gam was right next to Tavros, his lightning speed causing each of the watching trolls to flinch. He threw his arm around Tavros's shoulder. "You've got me, bro! And we're two chill motherfuckers. As chill as mother fucking Faygo on Miracle Powder. I got your back, man." Tavros sagged slightly under Gamzee's weight, but couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.  
"Thanks, man. You're the best."  
Gamzee looked down at him for a second, his eyes getting a little worried. "Woah. Hold on Man. We're not moirails or anything like that shit. I just got your back. Don't get your horns in a knot."  
Tavros laughed. "I know man. There's already someone shooting for that quadrant. I am not going to get in his way."  
Gamzee tilted his head to the side a bit, questioning. "Someone's shooting for my motherfucking quadrant, and I didn't even know about it? Shit, man. I'm a clueless motherfucker. Who is it?" He stared at Tavros, his eyes wide. Tavros stared back at him, his own eyes filled with an expression that Gamzee could not put his finger on.  
It seemed like it should come with a catchphrase... something like... something like...  
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"  
Yeah. That should work. Vriska, one of the most oblivious quadrant players, had released this shout in an exasperated frenzy. Gamzee looked up to see that she had jumped up from her nonchalant lying position, and was staring down at Gamzee, sharing the same expression Tavros had. Gamzee only looked at her.  
"What?"  
Her jaw dropped open, and her hand slammed into her forehead. She dragged her hand down her face, staring up at the sky, exasperated. "You're more thick than those pies you eat on a daily basis! He's the only one that can put up with your clown-shit! How can you... AUGH!" She falls back, landing hard on the ground, a few inches from Jade.  
Jade's eyes shoot open, and her mind reels for a few moments as memories shoot back into her head. After a few silent moments, her mind quits playing movie replays in her head, and she takes a deep breath.  
"What's she talking about?" Gamzee asked, his voice emanating from somewhere behind Jade. She fell still, contemplating as to whether she should make her consciousness known or not.  
Another voice speaks up from behind. "Oh you just never mind, Gamzee. You are obviously going to have to find out on your own some day. Probably when your think pan stops being so diluted with your sopor slime. Until then, just stop with your Moirail flirting. It upsets someone immensely." Kanaya, the voice of reason, after her tidbit of advice, looks back down to her knitting. "Oh. And one more thing. Party B is back."  
Right after she spoke, the vines in front of Jade pulled back, and a troll walked through, his face bright red as he storms in. 3 more trolls silently follow him. "WHAT FUCKING HORSESHIT OF AN IDIOT LEFT A DYING LUSUS OUTSIDE OUR HIDING SPOT! JUST SEND A FUCKING BEACON TO THE WORLD! JEGUS!" He storms over to the group of trolls sprawled on the floor, towering over them menacingly. "WELL?" He accuses, staring at each troll individually. His eyes finally stop on Jade.  
"Oh. Shit, man. Sorry. That was me. Forgot to pull that mother fucker in all the way... I'll get Bec in here now." Gamzee stands up, quickly slinking through the vines. The troll in front of Jade keeps staring. "And who in Jegus's name is this?" He scowled down at her, his nubs of horns barely visible.  
Tavros speaks up, his quiet voice a nice comparison to the barrage of the new troll. "Try and be a bit more quiet, Karkat. She's sleeping."  
Karkat stares down at Jade still. "Like shit she is. I can see her fucking eyes raping my face. Shit, woman. Look away or something before I kick that ogle off your face."  
Jade stares up at him for a second more before his insult clicks in her mind. She sits up, pouting a bit. "Hey. that's not very nice. I wasn't ogling."  
"Like hell you weren't! Then what were you looking at? Do I have lusus shit on my face or something?"  
"No..."  
"Then what were you looking at, troll? Spit it out!"  
Jade blushes slightly, her cheeks growing a faint green. "Your horns..."  
Karkat pauses for a moment, his mouth opening slightly. "My... Horns?"  
"Yeah..." She stares at the ground. "They are just so small and cute... Sorry... I won't look anymore if you don't want me to..." Her face grows slightly sullen.  
Karkat freezes up. "No, wait! That's not what I... Oh fuck this shit. You can do whatever the fuck you want." He quickly turns his attention away from her. "GAMZEE! YOU GOT THAT DEAD AS FUCK LUSUS IN HERE YET?"  
"Huh?" Gamzee stares at Karkat from the corner of their hideout, Bec resting beside him. "Bec's been in here since you said Jegus. Calm your tits man, I got this shit down. Oh. And that's Jade. She's joining us."  
Karkat looks at Gamzee, "You just do whatever the fuck you want, don't you? Why didn't you ask the fucking LEADER of this group before you went traipsing around these forests, picking up the first Damsel you find and bringing her back here?"  
"Sorry dude. She's chill as Miracles though. I'm keeping her."  
Karkat sighs. "what is she, your fucking toy?"  
"Yes."  
Karkat and Jade drop their jaws in perfect unison. "WHAT?"  
Gamzee stares at them, as if he were just told that Sopor slime was not to be eaten. "What? I found her. She's mine."  
"LIKE HELL SHE IS!" Karkat shouted.  
"LIKE HELL I AM!" Jade screeched at the same time, forgetting for a moment about her broken ankle to stand up in frustration and anger. She quickly remembers though when she tumbles backward, landing hard on the ground. "... ow." Karkat lets out an annoyed sigh, throwing his hands up in the air.  
"OH FUCK! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER LAME ONE IN OUR GROUP! Where did you find this Douche Muffin anyway! She can't even stand! We've got a female Tavros in the house now! FUCKING SHIT!" He throws himself on the ground, tossing his head back, and extending his arms in every direction, flailing like an exasperated ragdoll.  
"Cod, Karkat. It's like you're reeling for attention. Don't worry. She's just injured. I can get her fixed up faster than a swordfish! And the Lusus too, if it's important..." The first troll to follow Karkat into their hideout walks over to jade, a friendly smile on her face. Jade smiles in return, but can't help but let her eyes wander to the sharp fins on either side of her face. She had never seen a sea dweller troll before. The troll had relatively normal sized horns, somewhere in between Gamzee's and Karkat's, bending outward slightly. She wore the regular Sign Shirt, but the skirt underneath was a light sea green, and it fell gracefully to her ankles. She knelt down in front of Jade, looking her up and down for a few moments. Her smile grew wider as she spoke, her voice sounding rather excited, "Eels and cuttlefish! You're really pretty! Your eyes! They are so bright! And your blood is so unique! I've only ever seen Karkat's red blood..." She began to wander off in her own thoughts, staring up at a random corner as she spewed words. "I wonder if mutants have a caste system within a caste system... I mean... We have 11 blood colors, ranging from Royal purple to peasant brown, but anything that doesn't fit into one of those 11 categories is considered Mutant. Until now, I thought it was just Karkat's red blood. But your blood is obviously mutant too." She looked at Jade for a moment, fascinated, her excitement growing even more. "It makes me wonder if, inside the mutant caste... if you guys have a caste... Well? Do you? Huh? Huh?" She had, in the last two sentences, gotten within inches of her face, her eyes boring into Jade's.  
Jade averted her eyes awkwardly, blushing slightly. "Uhh... I've never met another Mutant before... so I wouldn't know..."

"Oh..." The sea troll deflated, retreating from Jade's face and slumping slightly. "That's okay."

"GOG CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND HEAL HER ALREADY?" Karkat jumped in, unable to hold in his impatience anymore. Jade looked up at him for a moment, tilting her head to the side. He looked at her, frowning. "What? I just want this shit ass shenanigans to end so we can get down to business! Shit..." He looked to Gamzee for a brief moment before throwing his hands in the air and walking away. Gamzee stared, confused.  
Jade couldn't help but smile, finally understanding who Vriska was talking about when she said someone was shooting for Gamzee's Moirail section. The troll in front of her shared a knowing grin before averting her attention down to Jade's ankle.  
"I'm Feferi, by the way. The Witch of Life. I'm going to heal you now with my Fishy Fishy Healing Powers, if that's okay with you!" She looked up, smiling wide. Jade smiled back.  
"Okay then!" She sat up straight, trying to relax her leg as Feferi bent over it, tilting her head to the side a bit as she puzzles over Jade's ankle.  
"Hmm... You really crashed this thing, didn't you? Don't you worry! I'll get this fixed up faster than you can glub!" She lightly placed her hand on Jade's ankle, Jade wincing slightly at the touch. Together, they sat there, frozen. Agonizing seconds passed as Jade stared at the hand resting lightly on her grey skin.  
"MMMMMM! THERE! It should aaaall be fixed now! Glub Glub! Go ahead! Stand up! See if you're good for walking! You'll be surprised! Now I'm going to go fix that lusus in the corner..." She quickly whisked around, almost skipping to Bec happily. Jade, on the other hand, still sat there, staring at her ankle.  
*Did she really do anything? I mean, yeah, the pain is gone, but it didn't like... pop or anything... there wasn't a glow.. or... ahh... Why can't mutants have cool blood powers too?* She pouted for a moment before deciding to try out her new leg.  
She leans backward a bit, placing all of her weight on her back before swinging her whole body forward, and up onto her feet. She swings her hands out for balance, and smiles when she doesn't topple under a lame leg. She stands upright, brushing her pants and shirt off, turning to Gamzee. "Look Gamzee! I'm all fixed! I won't need you to carry me around anymore!" She smiled at him. He laughed, walking over to her.  
"Well that's a motherfucking miracle!" He kept walking, getting closer and closer to her. He finally stopped a few inches from her face, towering over her. "But you see... I actually LIKE carrying you a bit..." With that, he scooped her up, swinging him over his shoulder, laughing maniacally as he ran circles around the hideout, Jade squealing behind him.  
"Ack! Put me down! Gamzee! GAMZEE!" Her squeals quickly turned into giggles, and as she laughed, Gamzee lightly placed her down.  
"So. Are we Moirails now?" He looked down at her, his eyes sparkling a bit.  
Jade couldn't stop her giggles, but easily shook her head in denial. "No we're not. You've already got someone shooting for that quadrant. I don't want to get in the way of that person. I'm thinking that wouldn't be a good idea!"  
Gamzee pouted for a few seconds before some sort of epiphany crossed his mind. "So... Does that mean... That you're shooting for a different quadrant?" He was inches from her face, so it was easy for her to see the look of teasing slyness cross his face.  
"Now... Hold on a moment! I never said- WOAH!" She ducked just in time, narrowly avoiding his attempt at a sloppy smooch, twisting to the side to avoid his swinging arms as he attempted to wrap them around her waist. She twisted again, facing him, but a few feet away now. She pulled out her PaperKind Newspaper, and bopped him on the head. "No!"  
He winced slightly when the paper hit him on the head, but otherwise stood unphased (except for the obvious dissapointed pout on his face). "Aww... But that always works..." He glanced over at Vriska, and then Tavros. "Well... ALMOST always works..." Tavros blushed as Vriska stuck her tongue out at Gamzee.

Jade stared for a few moments before her jaw dropped open. "Wait... do you mean... Tavros kissed Vriska? But he doesn't seem to be that kind of troll! I can't even imagine that! Tavros!" She looked at him, smiling widely. "You go guy!"

The whole of the hideout fell silent. Jade's smile twisted into a confused expression. "What?"

They only stared.

"What?"

Vriska, Terezi, Nepeta, Gamzee, and Feferi simultaneously fell backwards, bursting into full belly laughter as Tavros turned the oddest shade of mud brown Jade had ever seen. She blinked a few times, her own face growing slightly green out of embarrassment. "Was it something I said?"

Suddenly, she felt a light hand on her shoulder. "Yeah. Ith thumthing you thaid. Tavroth would never do anything like that. It wath Vrithka who kithed Tavroth. Not the other way around. They are jutht laughing at the thought of Tavroth making a move. He doethn't do that." She turned to face the troll who had his hand on her shoulder. He, like every other troll here it seemed, was much taller than her, but he had two horns on either side of his head, and was wearing a nifty pair of red and blue glathes... err... glasses. He stared down at her, his crooked fangs hanging over his lips. "I'm Thollukth. Thorry for the lithp. You get uthed to it."

Jade couldn't help but smile at him. "No! I like it! It's pretty cute! Gives you character!"

"Well Thank you." A small smile touched his lips.

"Hey now! You better stay the glub away from my Sollux's heart! He's my Matesprit! Right, Sollux?" Feferi suddenly appeared next to Jade, smiling down at her happily, but with a slight possessive hinting in her eyes. Jade lifted her hands defensively.

"Don't worry. I was just trying to be friendly! Nothing redrom going on!"

"Oh good! I've got enough competition already..." She glanced at the final person who had walked in with Karkat. Jade followed Feferi's line of sight, and gasped. A pair of red eyes stare back at her, boring into her soul. She flinches as the robot turns its body to face Feferi. Feferi glares back, Sollux stuck in the middle like a deer in headlights.

The robot stared at Feferi for a few more moment before speaking, the voice monotonous. "I don't know what you're talking about. Sollux and I have been apart for a while now. I am not going to steal your matesprit from you."

Feferi only glared. Jade, feeling uncomfortable, quickly steps in-between them. "So! Uhh... is this where all you guys live? A few miles from my house?"

Gamzee appeared next to Jade, causing Jade to retreat a few feet. He stared at her for a second, and quickly closed the gap between them, swinging his arm around her shoulder. "Nope! This is just where we're staying right now. Once Eq and Er come, we're getting the motherfuck outta here!" Jade glared up at Gamzee for a moment, but soon gave up, trying to ignore the arm around her shoulder, and the tingling warmth it brought.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

It fell silent for a few moments after the conversation petered out. Karkat had returned a few moments before, and joined the circle of trolls, blabbing on and on about how terrible this area was. Aradia joined the circle, followed by Feferi and Sollux. Jade quickly followed behind, Gamzee still hanging over her shoulder. She sat down at the edge, still slightly awkward surrounded by unknown trolls.  
"And the smell around this place is fucking terrible! Makes me want to puke! I can't believe how terrible it smells! It's like someone is hoarding fucking BUCKETS in this shit ass forest. I swear, before we leave this place, I'm finding those fucking buckets, and killing the hoarder of them! What kind of twisted bastard would keep those things anyway? GOG!"  
Jade blushed madly, her whole face growing bright green. Gamzee let out a slight laugh. "Hey man. Cool your tits. Those buckets are Jade's. I fell in that shit too..."  
"WHAAAAAAATT?"  
Jade felt like she could die.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6!

**Oh By the way~ More Reviews, Faster updates!**

Gamzee leaned back, flopping onto the ground. "Yeah. This crazy ass motherfucker had a shit ton of em just chillin in her basement. I fell ass-first into that shit. Motherfucking miracle that I don't smell like Ecto-goo anymore."

Each of the 9 other trolls present stared at Jade for a few moments before backing away from her by a few feet. Jade's face went highlighter green.

"No wait! Let me explain! It's not..."

"Not Fucking WHAT? You're a weird ass pervert troll! What the fuck goes through your twisted ass mind?" Karkat stared at her, his face horrified.

"No! It's not like I WANTED those buckets. It's just..." She fell silent for a few moments.

"Just what?" Kanaya asked, her voice soothing, and inviting. Jade looked up at her.

"Well..." She looked back down at her hands. "Sometimes the imperial drones would discover my hive... Since my hive isn't registered... they know immediately that I'm a mutant... so they attack..."

"What the fuck does this have to do with your weird bucket collecting fetish?" Karkat spat.

"Just calm down and let me finish!" Jade retorted. Karkat fell silent, pouting a bit. "Geez. Thank you!" She crossed her arms across her chest, "You see, sometimes... okay most of the time... They discovered my house as they were returning from their Bucket Collecting Rounds... So when they attacked... they had their... errm... cargo with them..."

"Oh..." The trolls said in unison. Jade's blush migrated to her ears.

"Yeah... and it's not like I can just make them disappear... so I just hid them in the corner... And avoided them... I never expected a visitor... So when Gamzee showed up, I told him to stay away from the corner! But he... uhh..."

"I fell in bro. Got that shit all over me. Top to mother fucking bottom. Smelled like a mother fucking Troll Brothel up in that shit. Miracles were not present."

"Sorry about that, by the way."

"Nah it's cool Sis. Took a motherfucking miracle to get that shit outta my hair though... I think I've still got some stuck in the tips." He lifted his hand from where it rested on the ground, and lifted it to his hair, twisting a lock in between his fingers, frowning slightly.

Just at that moment, all watching trolls could no longer keep their shit together. In unison, which seemed to be a fad at the moment, all but Tavros fell backwards laughing (Tavros only giggled a little, his face growing slightly brown). Jade stared at the trolls for a moment, and then the humor of the situation dawned on her, and she also giggled. Gamzee smiled happily, glad that he could bring happiness to his fellow trolls.

"Wwhat the fuck is going on? And wwho the fuck is she? Wwhy the fuck is she here? And wwhere the fuck is dinner?" The laughing stopped as Jade turned around, seeing her 11th troll. He was rather attractive, his glasses magnifying his cute eyes, his scarf falling to his waist on both sides of the squiggly sign on his shirt. He stared down at everyone rolling on the ground, frowning. Jade, although she recognized his handsome qualities, realized rather quickly that he probably had 4 empty quadrants because of his rotten personality. She frowned in return to his own sour face, deciding he needed some serious help.

She jumped to her feet, happily walking over to the troll with the purple streaked hair. "Hi! I'm Jade! I'm going to be joining your guys's party starting today! What's your name?" She held her hand out in a friendly gesture. His frown quickly dissapated, and his face grew a light shade of purple as he looked at her hand. He took it lightly, his anger turning into shyness. His hand was slightly sweaty. As he gripped her hand, and didn't let go, she began to regret her decision to greet him.

"Eridan. Eridan Ampora. It's a pleasure to meet you. I wwill try to treat you wwith the utmost of respect!" He bent down on one knee, still holding her hand, and kissed it, closing his eyes. Her face twisted into an expression of shock and horror as she quickly pulled her hand away from his, opening and closing her mouth, unsure as how to respond. Eridan stood, towering over her. He reached out his hand, and lightly grabbed a lock of her hair, lifting it to his nose. He scooted closer to her, inches from her face. "ahh. You smell lovvely, miss. These are dangerous wwoods... May I kiss you?"

"WHAAT?" She cried, flustered, trying to pull away. He wrapped an arm around her waist, closing his eyes, and the few inches between their faces.

Purple flashed across Jade's line of vision, and she was suddenly, instead of being kissed by Ampora, was watching as Eridan closed in on Gamzee. He kissed the purple bard passionately, wrapping his arm tighter around Gamzee's muscular waist. After a few seconds, Jade smirked. Eridan's hand had moved slightly down Gamzee's waist, and now rested on Gamzee's butt. It froze up. Eridan's eyes shot open as his whole body followed the suit of his hand. Gamzee smirked at him, their lips still touching. He winked at Ampora, and Ampora quickly pulled away, coughing and spitting. Gamzee also wiped his lips, the light smirk on his lips turning into a full grin.

"Shit, man. Didn't know you felt like that about me. You're totally redroming some serious fuckshit. Wanna get down with the Honkster, do ya? Fillin buckets with little fishy clowns?"

"Ww...ww...ww..." Eridan stuttered.

"Mother fucking miracles in buckets is what I say. But bro, Why didn't you tell me earlier? We coulda done that a long time ago!" He winked again, and Ampora wretched.

"WWHAT THE FUCK, GAMZEE! I WWAS TRYING TO KISS JADE! WWHY DID YOU GET IN THE WWAY?"

Gamzee tilted his head to the side, faking confusion. "I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, man. We just snogged it up, and you're talking about little Lime-Blood over there? I get it. We're through. This quadrant ends before it even starts!" He twists away from Ampora, flopping back onto the ground, smiling to himself as Ampora stares at him, dumbstruck. He looks at Jade. She mouths a quiet "Thank you." He smiles, nods his head slightly, and winks. She looks away.

"I swwear. You're one crazy bitch, Gamzee. Wwhat the fuck goes through your twwisted mind?"

"Nothing much. Horns n shit."

"Wwhatevver!" Eridan joins the circle of trolls, who were all having quite a hard time from laughing their asses off. He kept his distance from both Gamzee and Jade as he plopped down in the dirt. "So. are wwe going to eat soon? I'm starvved!"

"Oh... uhh... Eridan. I just, uhh... finished cooking. If you are hungry... It's about time to... uhh... eat." The unfamiliar voice interrupted Jade's thoughts. She turned around to see another troll shyly standing quite a distance from the rest of the group, wearing a pink and frilly apron, a ladle in his hand. He wore dark square shades, that were thoroughly cracked, and one of his horns seemed to be missing. She took a closer look, and realized it wasn't missing, it was just broken, only a small piece of the base left at the bottom. He returned her gaze, sweating a little more as he turned his face toward her. He lifted a hand, and waved slightly at her, smiling. "Uhh… Hi. I'm guessing you are the cause of all of the excitement occurring tonight." He took a quick glance to the people around. "It seems you have met everyone else. I am Equius. I apologize for the lack of appearance before this point. I have been slaving over a hot stove making food for the high- err…. For everyone… The food is ready, if anyone wants to eat now." He shyly twiddled with the ladle in his hand, bending it into odd shapes. He looked down at it, and cursed loudly, chucking the now useless kitchen utensil across the hideout. It slammed into a tree, knocking it down. The tree crashed right next to Nepeta, scaring her awake from her catnap. She jumped, blinking a few times before she noticed Equius.

"Oh! Equius!" She loped over to him, throwing her arms around his neck, smiling widely. Equius returned her hug softly, smiling like an older brother. Jade could almost _see_ the diamond encasing their moirail filled hug. She couldn't help but smile at the cuteness of it, but frown in her own jealousy.

_*I want a moirail!*_ she pouted to herself. Equius, noticing her frowning smile, pulled away from Nepeta.

"Uhh… Food. Follow me." He walked away, the crowd of hungry trolls following silently behind.

Lusus meat.

'Nuff said. 

When they were finished eating, Equius silently stood, walking over to Gamzee, and taking his plate. It shattered in his hands. Jade couldn't help but laugh as she stood, and helped Equius clean the plates, using her much more delicate touch to pick up, and clean each dish. When all was clean, they returned to their original hanging place, where Sollux set to work building a fire. Jade would have joined the rest of the trolls in their merrymaking, but she could already feel the lead setting in her legs and eyelids. She quietly excused herself, finding a secluded corner to curl up in, closing her eyes.

Right before she drifted off to sleep, she felt a something brush against her foot. She slowly opened her eyes. She watched silently as Gamzee slowly put a blanket over her, pulling it up to her neck. He looked into her eyes, and she smiled.

"Thank you." She whispered sleepily. Gamzee smiled, nodding slightly as he lay down a few feet away from her.

"No motherfucking problem, my sister. Just me being all quadrant fuck-tastic. You going redrom on me yet?"

She would have replied if she hadn't fallen asleep after "sister."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

**Note: Hey guys! Read Problem Sleuth! Just thought I'd say that! And sorry for the small chapter! I had a lot of stuff going on today! I'll get more down soon! But Review, and tell me what you want to happen next! I'm up for any type of suggestion!**

"Alright you little troll bastards! Get your asses off the ground, and your eyes wide open! We're leaving in 4 fucking minutes! Gotta get our asses on the move! I'm bored as hell!" Jade couldn't help but cringe at the loud voice assailing her ears, waking her from her peaceful slumber. She smashed her eyes closed, rolling on her side, away from Karkat's blaring voice.

And bumped straight into a warm chest. Her eyes shot open, expecting to see the swirly purple N of Gamzee's shirt.

It wasn't an N.

Nor was it swirly.

"Good morning. Did you sleep wwell?" The voice grated on her conscience as she stared at the two rows of sharp zig zags, Eridan reaching his hand out and lightly grasping a lock of her hair, pulling it to his nose. He smiled creepily. She almost puked as she slammed her hands into his chest, her feet on his bone bulge, pushing away from him with all her might.

And slamming straight into Gamzee, who was still sleeping on the other side of her. As Eridan curled into a ball of agony and self pity, Gamzee mumbled in his sleep, wrapping one of his arms around her waist, the other around her shoulders. He snuggled his face into her hair, causing her to freeze. As she sat there, stiff as a board, Gamzee pulled her closer, mubling in his sleep.

"Mother...fucking... Teddybear..."

Jade reached out her hand, grabbing his arm, and attempting to pry it off her waist. It didn't budge. "Uhh... Gamzee. Wake up. I'm not a teddy bear... Gamzee? Gamzee!" She squirmed a little, trying to break free. He groaned in annoyance, pulling her closer, tightening his grip on her. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as she called again. "Gamzee. Uhh..."

"Oh Jade. Thorry, but you're going to have to thtay there till he waketh up. Gamthee doethn't wake up for thit. We normally jutht toth him in the back of the carriage when we leave. You got caught in hith death grip. He mithtaketh people for teddy bearth all the time. thleepth like a fucking rock."

"Oh... So I just have to stay here?"

"Yeah pretty much."

Jade's face flushed green. "Oh. Well... I guess I can do that..."

"Kay. When we're done packing, we'll jutht throw you in the back. Jutht chill there for a bit, kay?"

"Uhh... Okay..." Jade, still stiff, relaxed as much as she could (Which wasn't much), and tried to calm her heart down.

"Eridan! Get your ath over here and help uth pack thith thit up!"

"Wwhatevver!"

"What?" She could hear the menace in Sollux's voice.

"Coming!" Eridan quickly jumped on his feet, and hopped over Jade and Gamzee, scurrying to help, leaving her line of vision. She stared in front of her, still unable to calm down.

*What the heck? How can he just get away with this!* She fumed in anger and embarrassment. *And does he do this to everyone as he sleeps? How creepy is that? I mean, seriously. This guy must have chugged a gallon of sopor slime, or something! Seriously!* She sighed in frustration, attempting one more time to wiggle her way out of his arms, to no avail. Exasperated, she falls limp, giving up. Instead, she just listened to the speechless packing of the other 11 trolls.

The zips of zippers and the whirr of some sort of electric thing almost lulled her back to sleep, but right as she was drifting off the edge to Prospit, Feferi popped up in front of her.

"Glub glub glub! We're ready to go now! Gonna lift you up and toss ya in the back, okay?"

She looked up at the perky fish troll, and nodded. Feferi smiles happily, stood, and walked away. "Eq! Come get these two Matesprite's on board!"

"We're not Matesprites!" There was no reply besides a slight snicker from Feferi.

Equius quickly appeared, sweating a little as he reached toward Jade. His hand faltered a few inches from her arm, and he quickly pulled away. "Uhh... Can't Nepeta do this? I'm afraid I might break her."

"Oh! You're glubbing right! Nepeta! Why don't you do it?" Feferi's voice rang from behind Jade. Jade frowned a little, upset that she couldn't see anyone other than Equius due to her facing a tree. Equius was looking away from her, and she assumed he was looking at Feferi. Nepeta's voice came from further away.

"Uhh. I seem to be in a purrdicament! Have Equius do it!"

Feferi sighed, speaking a little louder. "But you know how that might turn out! If he's not careful, we may lose our new glub buddy!"

"He's purrfect for the job! Just tell him to be careful! I trust him!"

"Uhh... I dunno... Last time I picked someone up, I kind of broke his leg."

"Oh who cares about that! He can't feel his legs anyway! It's no big deal if Tav breaks a few bones down there! Doesn't make a difference!" Vriksa jumped into the conversation. Jade watched as Equius's eyes darted from where she guessed Feferi was, to where she guessed Vriska was. He sweated even more, little drops of blue liquid running down the side of his forehead.

Feferi spoke again, "True... But this isn't Tav we're talking about! It's Jade!"

"Oh... Right... Equius!" Equius sat upright, staring at Vriska.

"Yes?"

"Pick them up. And don't hurt them! Got it?"

"YES!" Equius reached down to grab Jade and Gamzee.

"Don't you get any mother fucking closer."

Equius froze. So did Jade. Gamzee spoke again, his voice low and menacing. "Step the mother fuck away." Equius scrambled backward. "Good boy." Gamzee's voice regained its light tone as he untangled himself from Jade, and stood, brushing the dust off his pants. "Well! Let's get this show on the road!" He walked away as Jade rolled over and stood. She stood there, dumbstruck, as he easily hopped onto the newly appeared carriage.

The carriage itself was rather simple. It seemed to look like something straight out of Oregon Trail, except much more practical. It hovered a few feet above the ground, and had no pack animal in the front. Instead, two jet engines connected on either side of the wagon sputtered and revved, waiting to be activated. It was a rather small looking carriage, as if it could carry 3 trolls, rather uncomfortably. She frowned, walking over to it.

"Is this really your guys's carriage? It's so small! There was 12 of you before I came. Now there's thirteen! That thing can barely hold a lusus!"

Aradia appeared behind Jade. "Well it's a good thing we don't have any lusus... err... didn't..." She glanced over at Bec, who was sleeping in a corner, now fully healed.

Vriska popped her head out of the wagon. "Oh! Speaking of that! That thing is walking beside the wagon! no way in fuck I'm getting lusus fur all over!"

Jade gawked. "You can't fit 4 people in there, and you're worried about LUSUS FUR?"

Vriska looked at Jade, rolling her eyes. "Calm the fuck down. It's roomy as shit in here. We used Captchalogue technology to deck this shit out. You've even got your own room! Get your ass in here and see!" Her head disappeared back into the wagon. Jade, her curiousity now piqued, walked over to the wagon, and climbed in.

Her jaw dropped. Inside the small carriage was a hallway that seemed to stretch for 20 to 40 feet, lined with 7 doors on each side, 11 of which painted a bright color, 3 of which a dark grey. As she gawked, Aradia entered the wagon behind her, pushing her forward a few feet.

"Kay! We're all in! Ready to go?" Aradia spoke, pulling Jade out of her shocked stupor. She took a few glances back and forth from Aradia to the doors. Aradia smiled knowingly, and pointed to one of the grey doors nearby. "That one is yours." Jade smiled thankfully, opening the door, and walking into her new hive. As she stood in the doorway, she jerked to the side slightly as the wagon began moving forward. As she walked all the way through her doorway, she could hear Aradia attempting to calm Bec down.

"It's okay, boy! She's in here! She'll come see you soon! Just follow us, okay? good boy... good boy..." She cooed. Jade pulled out a piece of string, tying it around her finger.

*Gotta hang out with Bec*

She looked around her room, surveying the supplied furniture.

A bed.

A chair.

She sighed, thankful she had captchalogued as much as she did. Setting to work she quickly turned the room into something that suited her tastes much more. Squiddles lay skewed around the room, the bed adorned with a Blue Skies quilt, weapons organized in the corner, computers lying around everywhere. She smiled, hugging a few of the squiddles before adding the final touch to her room.

She pulled out a pumpkin.

What pumpkin?

She frowned, and pulled out another pumpkin.

What pumpkin?

Her frown deepened, and she pulled out a pumpkin.

What pumpkin?

"GAH!" She whipped around, giving up, and quickly storming over to her door. She opens it, storming out.

She trips on a pumpkin, sprawling on all fours in the middle of the hallway, her door slamming shut behind her.

She stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of her shirt, and looking left and right to check and see if anyone saw her trip over nothing.

12 trolls stared at her, each one trying to keep themselves from laughing.

Jade flips the fuck out.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

A.N. Wouldn't it be ironic if the moment people start showing interest in my story, and all

my stuff ends so I can pay attention, and start cranking out chapters, my report card

comes in? (I forgot to make up a test: F in Math. Mom Flipped the Frick out) So I'm

grounded... Sneaking on the computer in the morning, trying to write at school. I'M SO

SORRY GUYS! I promise this chapter will be a long one! With some... truth or Dare! And

the introduction of a new Character (Within the next 2 chaps).

Clambering up to her feet, Jade whips around to glare at the pumpkin she just KNEW

she tripped over, only to see an empty doorway taunting her mercilessly. She couldn't help the

frown cross her face as she tore her eyes away from the doorway, and at the staring trolls. Each

one, minus Gamzee, seemed to be standing in their respective doorways, peeking out, staring,

shocked, at her sprawled form in the middle of the hall. No one moved.

"Uhh..." She quickly scrambled up from her place on the ground, brushing off her clothes

as her face grows slightly green. "It's kind of hard to explain... but I tripped over a pumpkin... It's

not there anymore... but... uhh... Yeah..." She purses her lips for a moment.

Vriska stares, a small smile curling the edges of her lips. "You... Tripped?" She tilted her

head to the side a bit.

"Uhh... Yeah..."

"... BWAHAHAHAHAH!" She doubled over, grasping her stomach, her face turning

slightly blue. "Aha! ahhh... That's funny." She tilted back up, wiping a small tear from the corner

of her eye. "Ahh... why was that so funny? I have no idea... but it was funny! Oh man, You are

one entertaining troll."

"Oh shush! It wasn't on purpose!... But I'm glad I could entertain you! Smiles are always

good things!" Jade smiled back at Vriska, happy she was slowly regaining her normal

personality. She grinned happily at Vriska, faltering slightly when she saw the look of bored

disgust on Vriska's face.

"Bluh. Why are you so happy? No. Don't answer that. Forget I asked. You give off an air

of stupid happiness without even trying. Screw it, I'm going back to my room." She frowned

deeper, upset that her new toy took jokes in stride instead of getting her horns in a bunch. She

turned, retreating to her room to troll some random kid on her Pesterchum. the door clicked

closed behind her. Jade blinked a few times, unsure as how to respond.

"uhh... Okay then!" She turned to the other trolls who were still silently staring. "Shall we

get to know each other better? I want to know all of you! Do you guys have any kind of living

hive? Like... a hang out place? I wanna go there with you guys! Can we? PLEASSSE?" She

jittered a little, waiting impatiently for a response.

"Eh, why the glub not?" Feferi jumped forward, grabbing Jade by the elbow and leading

her to another door off to the side. She opened it, dragging Jade in. "Glub glub glub! Come on

guys! We're gonna have some super glubbing fun!" She flicked on the lights, and a rather plain

room lit up. The room seemed rather barren albeit 4 couches surrounding a rather large coffee

table, and a fridge in the corner. Without a beat, Feferi dragged Jade to a couch, tossing her onto

one of the cushions, and quickly leaving again, leaving Jade alone in the room for a few seconds.

Sollux cooly walked into the room, plopping down on one of the couches, pushing his glasses up

the brim of his nose, and leaning back.

"Thith may be entertaining. Pluth I'm here to hang with Fef. Don't think you're all that cool

becauth i'm here."

Jade couldn't help but giggle. "Alright. I won't."

"Good." Sollux nodded his head slightly, staring off into a random corner. Jade turned

toward the door, watching as a few more trolls wandered in. Nepeta was the first to pounce

through the door, bounding over to one of the couches, and curling up on the armrest like a

kitten. Equius followed Nepeta, sitting next to her protectively. Terezi followed shortly after, a

wide grin on her face, as if she were planning a devious game already. She plops down on the

couch opposite of Jade. Kanaya, Aradia, and Tavros walk in without incident, with some sort of

clamour starting in the hallway.

"No! Stay the fuck away from me! I don't want to! I'm going to go hang out by myself! I

don't need your shit ass socializat-GAK! HEY! PUT ME DOWN!"

"Chill the motherfuck out, man. We're getting this show on the motherfucking road. I want

to chill with my trolls anyway."

"Thank you Gamzee."

"No Prob Fef. Go get the motherfucking hipster from his mopey corner."

"No glubbing problem!"

After that slight cuffuffle in the hallway, Gamzee walked in, Karkat squirming in his arms,

looking like a newly wed, very unhappy bride. Jade burst into laughter. Karkat glared as she

smiled at him. "Sorry! You just look so cute!"

"Shut up." He spat.

"Kay!" She fell silent, smiling to herself as Gamzee plops Karkat on the couch next to

Jade, and squeezes himself between the two, smiling widely to himself. Feferi walked through

the door shortly after, dragging Eridan behind her.

"but I don't wwant to socialize! Gamzee may still be mad at me! And Jade!"

"Oh stop glubbing and get in here! We're going to hang out for a while!" She sat down

next to Sollux, pulling Eridan onto the couch next to her. Jade looked left and right, smiling to

herself. Then she frowned.

"What about Vriska?"

"Oh leave her be! She'll be fine! If she really wants to, she'll join us later!"

"Oh alright then..." Jade frowned slightly, but was otherwise unaffected. "So what are we

going to do to get to know each other more?"

Before anyone could even think about speaking, Terezi silenced them all, pulling out a

bottle, her grin growing even wider.

"NO!" the other 9 trolls screeched in unison, staring Terezi down with death glares.

Terezi laughed slightly, sticking out her bottom lip.

"Oh but you KNOOOW it would be so much fun! And we have a new guest this time!

Come on!"

"Terethi. You get too theriouth with that game."

"Oh Come on! I won't do anything super bad! I promise! Cross my heart, hope to die,

stick a needle in my eye! Hehehehe!" They glared at her. She only smiled. "You are aware that

however much you glare, I still can't see it, right?" She stuck her tongue out at them. "Come on.

It can't hurt!" She turned to Jade. "Huh Jade! Do you wanna?" She poked Jade a little with the

bottle, grinning from ear to ear.

Jade smiled back. "Well sure! I don't see how it could hurt! It would help me to get to

know you guys too! Let's do it!"

"ALRIGHT! YOU HEARD HER! LET'S DO THIS!" Terezi almost jumped out of her seat

as she placed the bottle in the middle of the coffee table, taking Jade's acceptance of her game

proposal as the ultimate veto. The surrounding trolls sighed, but seemed to all sit forward,

accepting Terezi's game proposal. Terezi twisted her hand, spinning the bottle.

It spun.

And Spun.

And spun.

And spun.

Slowly, it came to a stop, the nozzle pointing clearly at one person.

"Oh fuck no."

"Oh yes!" Terezi laughed slightly as Karkat cursed at the nozzle, willing it to turn away

from him.

"Gog! Let's just get this over with!"

"Alright! Truth or dare?"

"Dare, idiot!"

"Kay! Fine. We'll start this off easy! I'll spin again, and whoever it lands on, you gotta

battle for 4 minutes!"

"Fine!" He retorted. With a flick of the wrist, the bottle was sent spinning.

Spinning.

Spinning.

It slowly came to a stop, the nozzle pointing clearly at Aradia. She let out the robot's

equivalent of a sigh, and stood. "Do we have to leave the room, or can I just kick his butt in

here?"

"Suuure!" Terezi grinned as Karkat stood also, cracking his neck. Terezi quickly pulled

out a timer. "KAYREADYSETGO!"

Aradia didn't move as Karkat bounded over the coffee table, ramming straight into her,

knocking her over the couch. They tumbled on the floor for a few moments before Karkat

bounced off, pulling out his sickle. He stood, spinning the sickle nonchalantly around his wrist,

waiting for Aradia to stand. She slowly got to her feet, brushing some flakes off her metal

carcass. After a few motionless seconds, her eyes flicked up, gazing straight at Karkat. He

sprung again, swinging the sickle toward her neck. She parried, stopping the blade with her bare

wrist. It left a small indent as she pushed it back. Karkat twisted it in the air, swinging it again,

with the speed and agility of someone who had been practicing with a sickle for 6 sweeps now.

She blocked.

Again.

And again.

And again. The battle that was supposed to be an epic battle of Robot VS troll was slowly

just becoming quick hand movement. Karkat attacking, and Aradia blocking. Nepeta yawned,

stretching a bit before hopping into Equius's lap, purring quietly. Jade stared silently, her eyes

growing wide.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

"Aww! Times up! Guess the dare's over!" Terezi groaned a bit, upset that the battle was

so uneventful. Aradia and Karkat quickly stopped, Karkat rubbing his shoulder as Aradia returns

to her seat, unfazed.

"Oh, what? You thought we were actually going to battle the fuck out of each other? No

shitting way!"

"WOW YOU'RE SO COOL! THAT WAS AWESOME! I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE

MOVE SO FAST! SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THAT!" Jade jumped from her seat, jittering

excitedly, looking at Karkat, eyes wide as saucers. Karkat stared at her, dumbstruck.

"Huh?"

"I'm a long ranger! I've never seen someone use short range so fast and cool like! You

gotta teach me! Please please pleeeaaasse?" Jade begged, tripping over the coffee table

as she tried to reach Karkat, grasping his hands in hers, looking up at him. "PLEASE?"

Karkat leaned back a little, his face growing red. "Huh? You want me to teach you?"

"YES!"

He fell silent for a moment, his cheeks light red as he stared down at her. He faltered

over his words for a moment as Jade stared up at him. Finally, he spoke. "WHY WOULD I

WASTE MY TIME ON YOU? YOU'RE JUST A STUPID TROLL WENCH! GET OUT OF MY

FACE!"

Jade's eyes drooped a little, and she quickly retreated to her seat. "Sorry. I'll ask

someone else..."

"No it's just... I just... Ahh fuck. Never mind. Let's continue this shit ass game!" He

plopped down on the couch, now in an utterly pissed mood. (err... a mood slightly more pissed

than normal).

Terezi spun again. The bottle whizzed around the table, rolling from side to side as it

spun, scratching up the wood of the coffee table. As it spun, it twisted slowly to the side, halting

just a few millimeters behind the edge, the nozzle pointing at Tavros. He blinked a few times,

staring at the nozzle.

"Oh..." He mumbled, staring at the small nozzle. "I guess it's.. uhh... My turn."

"YUP!" Terezi giggled a bit. "And Karkat chooses the dare!"

"Can't I choose truth?"

"NOPE! hehehehe!"

"Why not?"

"Cuz i said so!" Terezi giggled even more. "Karkat! Choose his dare!"

"Why do I have to choose?"

"Cuz you were last! Come on!"

"Fine! Gog." He looked up at the ceiling for a few moments, going through all his options

of dares. Finally, a small grin peaked his lips as he thought about his romcoms. "Kay. You have

to kiss the person that the bottle lands on next."

Tavros's face blanched. "I don't know if I... uhh... can do that... That would be rather

awkward. And I... uhh... I've only ever kissed one person... and... uhh... that wasn't really... uhh...

pleasant... Do I have to?"

"YUP! Hehehe!" Terezi reached out, and spun the bottle again. Jade couldn't help but

giggle slightly at the antics of the group as the bottle swirled on the coffee table.

"Haha! You trolls are so much fun! This is helping me get to know you guys so much!"

She giggled some more, smiling at them.

Terezi giggled also. "Well it seems you are going to get to know Tavros a bit too! Look!"

She pointed at the bottle.

"Oh..."

"Uhh..."

"Hmm..."

"Hehhehehe!" Terezi giggled some more as Jade stared at the nozzle, pointing straight at

her. Karkat sighed.

"This is turning into a super cheesy redrom sitcom harem faster than I can think of the

stupid plot for it! What's next, GAMZEE falls head over heels for our green blooded freak Troll?

And watch! due to some sort of fucked up events, Jade falls for Gamzee too, and we have

ourselves a fucking clown party!"

"That would be a motherfucking miracle, my bro." Gamzee pitched in, tilting his head

toward Jade, plopping it on to her shoulder and grinning. She tensed up slightly, some color

reaching her face as she looked down at Gamzee.

Karkat's jaw dropped open. "... you've gotta be kidding me. Oh fuck this shit, I quit!" He

quickly stood, storming out of the room with quite a loud huff.

The room fell silent as Jade twisted her head to look at the door as it slammed shut. After

a few more moments of awkward silence, she turned around again. "Uhh... Okay... what was

that about?"

"No idea, bra." Gamzee mumbled, closing his eyes, still resting on her shoulder. She

looked over at him, laughing slightly.

"Uhh... Gamzee. Can you sleep elsewhere?"

"No way. You're comfortable."

"But... Gamzee..." She pouted a little, not liking the awkwardness of the situation... She

scrambled around for a reason to get away, her face growing more green by the second. "But...

Oh! Tavros was dared! I have to go sit next to him so he can..." She faltered a bit. "So he can...

you know... kiss me."

"Uhh... we don't HAVE to kiss, you know..." Tavros mumbled, his face a light brown.

"YES YOU DO! HEHEHEHEHEH!" Terezi giggled, sticking her tongue out at Tavros. He

looked at his thumbs, shyly mumbling.

Jade smiled slightly. "It's okay Tavros. You don't have to kiss me on the lips. It can just be

the cheek if you'd like."

"Uhh... Okay... Uhh... here I come..." He stood quietly, shimmying past the coffee table to

reach her.

He tripped. (Or more likely, Terezi tripped him, but Jade didn't see because she was too busy scrambling to catch him as he tumbled toward her). Jade scrambled to catch him, standing quickly, slamming her shins into the coffee table. She swung her hands outward, wrapping them around him, attempting to stop his fall. It didn't work. He slammed into her,

knocking her over onto the coffee table, his lips slamming into hers. The room fell silent as they

both lay on the table, Tavros supporting himself with his elbows, hovering a few inches away

from jade's face. They stared at each other for a few moments before both of them burst into a

bright blush.

"Oh Uhh... sorry! I'll.. uhh..." He shoved off the table, walking away from teh

couches, his ears bright brown. Jade sat up, staring at her knees as sshe twidled her tumbs.

"Uhh.. it's okay." She fell silent for a few moments, and then turned to Terezi.

"Can we not have any more of those kind of dares? That's rather awkward..."

"but that was so much fun! and entertaining!"

"no. Let's do something like... Oh I dunno. Tavros! It's your dare turn! Why don't you

choose something a little less... quadrant tastic."

Tavros, still bright brown, turned to jade, smiling slightly at the idea that she wasn't

furious with him. "Okay... uhh... how about the next person the bittle points at has to... uhh...

Uhh..."

"battle a Lusus!" Terezi pitched in, laughing a little as she spat out her dare. "Kay it's

decided! Let's spin!"

"Wait! What? Hey!"

"Spin spin spin!" Terezi shouted, cutting off Tavros's cries of complaint, flicking

the bottle, and laughing as it tumbled around the coffee table. It slowly petered to a stop, pointing

straight at Nepeta, who was sleeping on Equius's lap, eq's hand resting lightly on her head.

Equius looked at the bottle, frowning slightly.

"Is that pointing at me, or Nep?"

"uhh... I Don't know! hehehe! I guess you oth could battle it! Hehehe! But it would

have to be a big one! Super big! Yeah! Let's go outside!" She quickly jumped up, almost skipping

out of the room, leaving everyone to follow behind. They glanced back and forth at each other,

and decided taht Terezi would not let them just be. Slowly, each person stood, walking out of the room, following Terezi out the back door. Jade was the last to leave, hopping easily out of the back door, her feet landing firmly on the ground underneath her. She looked around to see each of the trolls minus Vriska and Karkat, waiting patiently, Gamzee standing right next to her. She smiled at him. "So are we going to get this show on the road? I want to smell Nep and Eq kick some lusus ass!" Terezi jittered. Nepeta was still sleeping, Equius carrying her like he would a cat. He squeezed her slightly, and she woke, stretching in his arms, and hopping to the ground.

"Mreow? What's going on?"

"You've been dared to battle a lusus with me"

"ohh! Sounds fun! Lets do this!" Nepeta grinned, stretching some more before loping ahead of the group. "I'll even find us a really big one!" With that, she wiggled her nose a bit, smiling as she sniffs the air.  
Ah! Caught one! This way!" She lopes forward, hot on the trial of a scent. "It seems to be running around a lot! Like it's in a frenzy over something! Should be really fun to battle! Come on, slowpokes! This way!" She kept running as the other trolls attempted to keep up. Jade stumbled behind, tripping over her feet, cursing her "Only good at long range" mindset. After a while, though, she caught her rhythm, and began running more easily, but still behind the rest of the trolls. Someone came up next to her.

"Hey Bra. You looked lonely as a motherfucker back here. Need a running buddy?"

She looked up at her savior to see the familiar paint and smile of Gamzee. A wide grin fell onto her face. "Ahh. Thanks!"

"No prob Bra! I got your back!" He kept running, smiling wide. "This should be fun, watching Nep battle."

"Yeah I guess." Jade smiled a bit, looking onward to the loping trolls in front of her.

"Speaking of fun, how was that kiss, bra?" He inquired, winking at her.

She tripped, stumbling over her feet for a few moments before catching herself. She looked up at Gamzee. "It was… uhh.. surprising."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Was it good?" She stumbled again at his words, laughing slightly.

"Haha! Well I can't say it was the most amazing kiss in the world. It was more like a light…. Slamming of faces together. I barely consider it a kiss. Yeah. I don't consider it a kiss. I refuse for that to be my first kiss." She was now more talking to herself rather than Gamzee, Gamzee just listening intently. At "first kiss," Though, he turned his head to face her.

"First kiss?"

Jade caught Gamzee's eye for a second. "What? I've been living alone since I hatched! You expect me to have kissed before? Nope! I'm kiss free!... till now I guess…. No! That does not count as a first kiss! I refuse! I still have my-" Her babbling was cut off by Gamzee's lips.

It was a quick, light kiss. He had turned around while she babbled, and quickly snagged her head in his hands, bringing her face to his. A small peck. It tasted of Faygo. Jade, eyes wide, stared at him as he released her, leaning back cooly, as if nothing happened. "Well now you can't say you haven't had a first kiss." With barely a smile, he wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and turned back, loping to catch up with the trolls, who had stopped at a small opening in the forest. Jade, eyes wide, stared at nothing in particular for a few more moments before her face realized what happened, turning bright green. She touched her lips lightly, her heart screaming in her chest.

*What was that?* She thought to herself for a quick second before shaking it off, and running to join the group of trolls. She stopped near Aradia, attempting to keep a few yards between her and Gamzee as her mind spun crazily, trying to figure out what just happened. Her thoughts were interrupted, though, by a sharp jab in the ribs. She turned to Terezi, who was on her other side, and Terezi motioned to the clearing. Jade glanced, and her breath caught in her throat. She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, and then re opened it. "Oh my."

"I believe the word for this is more like 'Damn.'" Equius pitched in, staring at the clearing. It appeared that someone had tossed 4 different lusus into a blender, set it on Puree, left the cap off, danced around in the multicolored blood pouring from the top, and then left, taking his blender with him, leaving the sweet mess behind to scare the shit out of the next trolls to stumble upon it. Unfortunately, those trolls were these trolls. The trees were splattered from top to bottom in 4 different colors of blood, lusus chunks scattered everywhere. Jade had a slight flashback to her own lusus encounter, but realized that whatever happened here involved more…. Blades. She swallowed.

"Yeah. That. Do you think whoever did this is near?"

"Probably. That brings up a good question. Do we find this person, or avoid him/her? They could be a pretty awesome person… or a very dangerous fuck." Aradia spoke.

"True. I say we find him." Equius pitched in.

"We can split into purrfect groups of… uhh… 2?" Nepeta replied.

"And one group of three. Thoundth good to me." Sollux spoke up, being rather quiet until this moment. Jade jumped a bit at his voice. "I'll go with Feferi."

"Glub glub glub!" Feferi agreed.

"Allright. I'll go with Equius and Nepeta." Aradia pitched in. Equius and Nepeta nodded.

"I'll go wwith Jade! Dibs!" Eridan spoke up, almost tackling Jade as he snagged her arm, staring Gamzee down. Gamzee only shrugged.

"Do what you want, motherfucker. I'm chill with hangin with Tavvy." Gamzee smiled at Tavros, and Tavros gave a shy grin back.

"Okay! Hehehe! I guess that means Kanaya and I are sticking together in this one!" Terezi laughed.

"I'm fine with that. Let's get going. I am rather curious about this mysterious troll."

The trolls began to walk in their separate ways, Eridan still clinging to Jade's arm. Jade quickly spoke up. "Wait! Shouldn't we have some sort of way to get everyone's attention? Like, a call or something?"

"Nah we'll be fine! Hehehe!" Terezi giggled some more, walking off. Jade sighed at Terezi's light hearted will. She pulled away form Eridan, picking a random direction, and walking that way, Eridan following loyally behind.

The time past by rather quickly as she walked, enjoying the scenery of the trees more and more as she got further and further away from the lusus chunk clearing. She began to hum to herself, forgetting completely that Eridan was still with her. After what she thought was about an hour, she decided a small break might be a good idea.

She dropped to the ground, asleep instantly.

Eridan stared at her for a moment, blinking. A small grin crossed his face, and he crept closer to her. *Is she narcoleptic?* He thought, staring at her sleeping form. He bent down, staring at her. After a few seconds, he crept a little closer, his face a few inches from hers. *Wwhat she won't knoww wwon't kill her* he thought as he bent in for a kiss. *It's not like I'm ever going to get any buckets or anything…* He depressed himself with his own thoughts, and quickly bent closer to her, attempting to steal the only "Action" he would ever get.

His lips touched. His eyebrows squinted for a second, wondering why her lips were so cold. And so hard. Like he were kissing a….

He opened his eyes to see his own reflection in the shiny surface of what he immediately knew was the flat of a katana. As he stared at the shiny metal, a deep, calm voice spoke. "You're one fucked up shit head kissing a troll while she's sleeping. A special breed of dumbass fuck faces. You're the king of the new highblood breed of jackasses. It's like you were fucking genetically engineered to be a horny douche. Now back away, you little fucker." Eridan did as he was told, scrambling away from both Jade and the blade. He looked up at his assailant, shaking slightly in both anger and embarrassment. The troll flipped his sword away from jade, resting it on his shoulder, his dark shades reflecting the gleam of the blade. He nodded slightly at Eridan. "Good boy. Good boy." He captchalogued his sword, and easily sat on the ground. "Now you stay there. And I'll stay here. Watching your sorry little purple ass. Fucking high bloods think they piss on shit and not expect a hella ass terrible smell." The last line the mysterious glasses man mumbled to himself.

Eridan spoke. "Wwho are you?"

"Me? I'm the fucking ironic Dave Strider. Nice to meet a sharp ass douche like yourself!"


	9. Chapter 9

**An: Hey sorry about last chapter! I was typing it at midnight at my friends house, and she had a PC (I use a Mac). So when I copied it from GoogleDocs to Word, it did weird stuff to the setup. I was so tired, I didn't even notice! So that's why that chapter looked so weird. **  
**ANMK2: So yes. I am up-to-date with Homestuck. I did read the newest update. Hussie, you evil genius. He's completely changed my whole story! My previous plot, which I had planned out, he blew out of the water! Now I have to rethink some stuff. Starting at this chapter, i'm suspecting it will get a bit more confusing, and a bit more epic. Jade, with her lime green blood, WILL have some epic powers. (For those of you not up to date: Sorry, man. Start reading.) **  
**One Question: Would you like long chapters every 4-5 days, or short chapters every day to every other day? Cuz I'm writing this stuff over a few days period, and want to know what ya'all want. I'll post a rather small ish one right now to appease you waiting souls... **

"Hehehe! Kanaya. Let's stay here for a bit. Wait for everyone else to leave. I have something I want to check." Terezi kept a firm grip on Kanaya's elbow, stopping her from walking any further. Kanaya turned.  
"Hmm?"  
"Oh, I just smell very interesting things, and I want to investigate! Hehehe!" Terezi smiled at Kanaya, her nose twitching a little. Kanaya nodded her head a little.  
"I am just fine with anything. You go ahead and lead the way, Terezi."  
"Oh yay!" Terezi giggled a little more, pulling Kanaya back to the clearing, Kanaya quietly stumbling behind. They stopped in the middle of the defoliated area, staining their shoes with varying colors of lusus blood. Kanaya stared at Terezi as she wiggled her nose, sniffing the air. "Hmm... Kanaya. How about you do me a little favor?"  
"That depends completely on what the favor entails."  
"Oh not much! Just go over there, by that tree, and look behind it. I smell something odd. I think you may like her- I mean.. err... it." Kanaya raised her eyebrows at Terezi for a few moments before realizing she couldn't see her sarcastic glare. She sighed, and began her small trek to the tree Terezi was pointing at.  
"This one?"  
"Yes! Hehehe!"  
"Alright." Kanaya sighed, walking around the tree, her heart beat slightly elevated as she peeked around the edge of the bark. She blinked a few times at the waiting sight, raising one eyebrow again. "Oh my. I wonder how I did not notice this."  
"You must be rather un-observative. I've been here since your group showed up. It was rather entertaining to listen to your ongoing conversations. I must admit amongst the 11 of you, there seemed to be not a soul with a matching brain." Rose spoke without ever looking up from the book in her lap, flipping the page half way through her small monologue. Kanaya couldn't stop the small frown.  
"I resent that comment."  
"Well it's rather hard to estimate your intelligence when you barely open your mouth. You're not a verbose one, are you?" Rose silently folded the corner of her book inward, creasing the old looking paper.  
"I beg to differ. I am just unable to get a gab in otherwise with your loquacious attitude." Kanaya spoke calmly, resting a hand on the tree beside her.  
"I apologize for my verbosity. Would you prefer I listen as you exercise your own logorrhea?" Rose closed her book, finally meeting eyes with Kanaya. They stared at each other for a few moments, daring the other to speak.  
"HEHEHE! I knew you'd like each other! Can you come out here so we can all chat together? I'd like to start investigating the crime scene!" Terezi interrupted their staring contest, causing both to look over at the red glassed troll. Rose stood from her perch (A pumpkin), and turned to Terezi.  
"Oh that is unnecessary. I can inform you of the identity of the person who created this-"  
"SHHHHH! I want to figure this out!" Terezi interrupted her. "Tell me later!" She pulled out a magnifying glass, and began to sniff around, using the glass as if she could actually see. Rose rolled her eyes, turning to Kanaya.  
"Whatever. I am Rose Lalonde." She held out her hand. Kanaya took it.  
"Kanaya Maryam. Pleasure to meet you." When their hands touched, Kanaya couldn't help but glance down slightly at where their skin made contact, curiously wondering about the slight tingle that ran through her fingers.

arachnidsGrip [AG] Began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  
AG: Oh my gosh! I'm so annoyed at this stupid troll witch that just joined our group! She's SOOOOOOOO annoying!  
TG: I"m so sorry to haer that.  
TG: *Hear.  
TG: Why is she so annoying?  
AG: I can't 8ug her at all! She just takes everything in stride! I've laughed a8out practically everyting a8out her, and she still just smiles! Trolling someone like her is so stupid! ::::(  
TG: I'm so sorry... agian.  
TG: *Again  
TG: Gog you're so boring! Can't we talk about something more intresting, or are you just going to babble about how annoying this girl is?  
TG: *Interesting.  
AG: Well that's all I have to taaaaaaaalk a8out! D::::  
TG: Fine then. What esle do you have to say about her?  
TG: *else  
AG: I dunno! She's got some stupid 8lood color I've never seen 8efore! Augh! She's so stupid!  
TG: What color is her bloood?  
TG: *blood.  
AG: Some stupid lime green color. Shit ass disgusting. And the only reason I know is 8ecause she had it all over her face! Like she had just gotten the shit 8eat out of her! Something a8out 10 high8loods, my ass!  
TG: Well, what if she's actaully really powerful?  
TG: *Actually.  
TG: Like, her blood gives her power or someething?  
TG: *something.  
TG: I mean, you have some sort of mind control ablity right?  
TG: *Ability.  
AG: Yeah...  
TG: So what if she's got something like that?  
AG: Hmmmmmmmm...  
TG: Look it up. There's gotta be something about it on the interwebz.

tipsyGnostalgic ceased pestering arachnidsGrip.

Vriska stared at her computer screen as the cursor blinked repeatedly. She bit her lip, thinking, and then quit out of Pesterchum, pulling up her web browser. She wiggled her mouse over the search bar for a few moments before moving her hands to the keyboard...

"Purrfect! Now I get to hang out with my Moirail! I like this! Mreow!" Nepeta purred happily, hopping around Equius as he and Aradia walked forward nonchalantly. She stopped every once in a while to smell the flowers, causing a faint smile to erupt on Equius's smile every time.  
"Hey! Glub glub glub! Wait for us!" Feferi shouted from behind them, Sollux trailing quietly behind. She quickly caught up with them, keeping a safe distance from Aradia as she spoke with Nepeta. "We want to hang with you guys! I think it's kinda scary with just two people. So can we hang out as a group of 5 instead?"  
"That sounds Purrfect! Let's do it!"  
"Uhh... Is that an order, High blood?" Equius nervously questioned. Feferi just winked at him, causing Aradia to frown a bit.  
"Whatever. I don't really care." Aradia looked away, the metal around her neck buzzing a bit.  
"Great! Glub glub glub!" Feferi grinned as Sollux finally caught up with them with his leisurly pace. He stopped next to Aradia.  
"Thup, Aradia?"  
She looked over at him. "Nothing."  
"Thath cool. Thath cool..." He trailed off, looking back at Feferi. She smiled at him. Aradia couldn't help but look away in disgust as Sollux's face grew slightly red. She sighed.  
"Can we just keep going?"  
"That sounds good to me!" Nepeta pitched in. "There are some pretty flowers over there! Let's go crawl in those! I wanna smell them up close!" She traipsed away, giggling, Feferi close behind. Aradia couldn't stop herself from glaring at Feferi's back. Equius noticed.  
"Hey. Aradia. Are you okay?"  
She looked over at him, her face back to its normal robotic neutral. "Just fine." She looked back at the flowers.

"...Swimming in ironic lingo. i've got more swag than a penguin with his tuxedo homies. it's like the world is suffering from an epic lingo, swaggalicious drought, and i'm a' bringing the sweet delicious lingo rain! they just wish with their lackluster linguistics that they had the audacity to use their verbosity as i do. but they lack the imminent ability, condescending themselves with pants at their knees. I've brought the troll lingo to a new delicious level of ironic parodies, sick raps, and sword slinging bro-tastic-"

"OKAY! I GET IT! YOU'VE GOT A WWAY WWITH WWORDS! NOW PLEASE! SHUT UP!"

"Dude. Chill out. I was just trying to share my linguistic genius with a jerk like yourself. I'm just attempting to spread my epic cool strider attitude to someone who really needs it. You, sir, are like a boring sack of rotten potatoes, smelling up the already shit-infested planet we live on with your dirt caked, inedible sack of potato sludge. Your stupid rotten potato sack is only useful for one thing: scaring away lusus with your terrible wicked ass smell. It's like you're a mega electro-potato-shit-smelling magnet, and Lusus are your oppositely polarized scared-as-fuck buddies. Shit man, I could bottle your smelly ass jerkish ness, and sell it like fucking "OFF!" Keep those scared as shit lusus a million miles from your fuckass hive with Purple blood potato shit. Dude I could make a killing off of that."

"Wwhen wwill you run out of stuff to say?"

"I never run out of stuff to talk about. I'm chill like that." Dave stared down at Eridan, his sword still between Eridan and the sleeping Jade, his glasses reflecting Eridan's rather annoyed expression, his own face neutral. "Anyway, are you going to step away from her, or not?" He swished the sword closer to Eridan, causing him to back up a few inches.

"I'm awway, I'm awway!" He squeaked.

"Good." Dave sat down on the ground next to Jade's head, resting the sword on his lap. "I've told you my name. What's yours?" He turned his head toward the purple blooded hipster. Eridan frowned.

"Eridan Ampora. It's not really a pleasure to meet you."

"I can say the same thing." He didn't smile as he pointed the tip of his sword at Jade. "And who's this?"

"Jade Harley."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are you going to say anything else about her, or are you just going to leave me here in the dark. I mean, come on man. I'm sitting here like a... Shit. I can't think of anything that is blind... A blind girl... In a... seeing convention... Shit. You know what I mean. Insert an extremely ironic and sick metaphor here talking about blind people in a convention, having a boring ass time because they can't see shit."

"... Okay. Wwhatevver you wwant."

"And tell me more about this Jade girl."

"Wwhatevver. She just joined our group, so I don't knoww much about her. Don't mess with her though, she's got someone protecting her. I'vve already tried to kiss her. That did not go wwell."

"Maybe it's because you're one fuck ass creepy dude?"

"Wwhatevver!"

"It's true man. You're creepier than an Imperial drone coming over to your house when you are in the middle of filling a bucket. I mean, those shit heads just pop their head in going 'Hey! You done yet? Cuz i'm gonna need your excrements.' and you're like 'hold on. I'm almost done.' and they respond with 'kay. I'll just sit here, staring, and wait.' I mean come on man! How creepy can you get?"

"That doesn't evven make any sense. You suck at these metaphor things."

"Shut up. The only time I'm bad at this shit is when something bad is about to happen. Or when an Imperial Drone interrupts my fun." Dave leaned back, sighing at his failure. "Fuck."

"Wwhat if both of those things happened at the same time?"

"Huh?"

"Look." Eridan pointed upward, where a group of ID's were gathering in the sky, floating slowly toward them. Dave glanced upward.

"Oh. That'll do it. Kay dude, you just wait, I'll school you later in ironic metaphors once we eliminate those little fuckers." Dave stood, scooping up Jade's sleeping body, and placing her on his back, holding her there with one arm.

"Oh Gog. I havve to listen to more of that?" Eridan sighed as he stood, facing the oncoming drones.

"Yes. Hell Yes. Hell. Fucking. Yes." Dave readied his other hand with his sword, his glasses glinting the red finish of the drones advancing on them.

"Damn."

_

Karkat paced back and forth in his room, mentally hitting himself over and over at his own stupidity and lack of acceptable social behavior. He stopped every once in a while to listen to the commotion outside of his room as the other trolls continued their fun. After a while though, the sounds died away, and he sat in his room, listening to nothing. Eventually, he meandered out of his room, returning to the hang out place to see that it was rather empty. He stared at the vacant room, resisting the urge to curse aloud. (He didn't suceed).  
"FUCK! WHERE DID THE LITTLE SHIT HEAD TROLLS GO? THOSE BASTARDS! WE HAVE PLACES TO BE!" He stormed out of the room, and down the halls, opening every door he walked by, slamming his head in and looking in every direction. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?" He screamed as he reached the final door. He opened it to see the back of Vriska's head as she leaned over her computer screen. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? Didn't you, by ANY stretch of POSSIBILITY, notice that all our troll compadres are MIA? Or were you too busy flirting with your STUPID ASS GIRLFRIEND?"  
"Hmm?" Vriska barely lifted her head, engrossed in the log on her screen.  
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! IS IT THAT ROXY CHICK AGAIN?"  
"Yeah. Now what's got your bone bulge all twisted, Karkat?"  
"Our compadres are missing, as I told you before if you'd get your head outta your girlfriend's ass." He spat. Vriska turned to him, a small smile on her face.  
"Oh if only you knew. She's not my girlfriend, but she IS rather important. But you're a little too ignorant to realize that just yet. So shut your yapper and just let me troll as I wish."  
"Whatever. Can't we just find our trolls?"  
"I don't really give a shit. They'll come back."  
"Yeah, but..."  
"What, red-blood? You lonely?" She mocked, sticking her tongue out at him. He frowned deeper, his face growing red.  
"FUCK NO!" He stormed out, leaving Vriska to her trolling. She sighed, rolling back to her screen, and continuing her research.  
"Lime bloods... Lime bloods... what the fuck? There is absolutely NO information on these things!"


	10. Chapter 10

"I think I like her."

"Huh?" Gamzee stared at Tavros as he blushed a light brown, staring at his feet and twiddling his thumbs.

"Jade. She's, uhh, a really nice girl, and... uhh... stuff. So I think... uhh... I like her. Red rom."

"Well shit man, that was fast." Gamzee walked onward, his hands twisted together and resting on the back of his head. Tavros looked up to see Gamzee a few yards ahead, and scrambled to catch up.

"Well... Uhh... I was kinda thinking about it since I saw her. And she was kinda... uhh... nice to me. But then we... uhh..." His face grew brown once again as Gamzee looked back at him. "You know... when we... uhh..."

"Kissed?"

"Uhh... Yeah."

"Don't worry man. Kissing aint a big thing. It happens all the time. Means jack motherfucking shit." He kept walking onward, leaving Tavros to trail behind.

"Uhh. I don't know about that. I mean, it can be a pretty good... uhh... signal of fee-"

"I've kissed Jade." Tavros's attempts to keep up with Gamzee halted altogether as he stopped dead in his tracks. Gamzee trailed to a stop also, turning to face his blood lacking face. "Dude, you okay?"

"Uhh..." Tavros was speechless.

Gamzee continued, spinning away from Tavros and walking onward again. "But come on, bro. Kissing really means practically nothing. Vriska has kissed you. I've kissed you. Sollux and Aradia have kissed multiple times. Are any of us together as a rom? Nope. Kissing means jack mother fucking shi-"

"THATS NOT TRUE!" Tavros screamed, his voice echoing slightly in the trees. Gamzee jumped slightly, turning back to the brown faced troll as he shook slightly.

Gamzee stared at him for a few moments, his jaw agape. He tilted his eyes to the side, staring at a blade of grass on the ground. "Shit man. You didn't have to yell."

"I'm sorry! But I don't think you understand what you just said!" Tavros stood firm until Gamzee looked back into his eyes. He faltered for a bit, but kept going. "Uhh... It's really important to females that you don't... uhh... you know, just do something like that without... uhh... feelings behind it. They find that stuff really important. I asked Karkat. He... uhh... taught me. You can't just kiss someone without feeling."

"You did that." Gamzee's face was completely stone as he stared at Tavros. Tavros frowned slightly.

"Yeah, but it was a dare! And I already had a feeling that I... uhh... liked her. And now I am... uhh... certain! Why did you kiss Jade?"

"I wanted to."

"See? You can't... uhh... do that! You have to have... uhh... feelings for her if you want to... uhh... do that. It's a quadrant thing. You're just going to... uhh... confuse her. And I don't... uhh... Like that." Tavros attempted to stand tall and prove his manliness to Gamzee, showing him that he was worthy of Gamzee's new "Toy," attempting to show protective qualities over her well being. Gamzee only stared at him, his face growing pale.

"Ahh shit man. I think I messed up big time." Gamzee barely noticed Tavros's attempts to prove his superiority as he fretted over his own mistake. He sat down on the ground, his eyes wide. "I just up and kissed her, bro. Up and smacked my lips with hers!"

Tavros sighed slightly, sitting next to him. "Uhh... Why did you do it?"

"I don't know, bro! I just up and did! It's not like I was getting my mojo on or anything. I was just up and jealous or something."

"You were... uhh... jealous?"

"I'm up and all confused now. I dunno." Tavros sat awkwardly next to Gamzee as he mumbled, slightly unnerved by Gamzee's out of character spillage.

"Uhh..."

"I mean. I'm all up and jizzing in knowledge, Tavbro! I up and know things about her that you'de have to go and figure out in like... a million years!"

"I don't think...uhh... I don't follow you." Tavros stuttered a bit, attempting to follow Gamzee's twisted train of thought. Gamzee only kept trailing along.

"Honk honk honk. I mean, She's got her motherfucking dangerous on. Lime blood and stuff."

"...uhh...what?"

"And I'm already shooting for you, Tavbro! I can't up and get all redrom with a random lime blood troll when I'm all up and red with my brown blooded bro!"

"Uhh..."

"And I've yet to go and figure out who this moirail everyone's speaking of is... And with all of that, I'm still up and tied by her mother fucking Coincidences shit. And my head hurts."

"Uhh... What? Redrom? With... uhh... Me?" Tavros sputtered, feeling his face grow brown. "I'm... uhh... flattered... But... uhh..."

"I mean, I up and knew already once I saw that blood that I had up and got myself head deep in lime colored, high blood mix up shit, but seriously, Loving that little mother-"

"GAMZEE!" Tavros burst out, punching him in the shoulder. It didn't even make him move an inch, but it did catch his attention. Gamzee turned to Tavros, his eyes slightly crazed.

"Oh. Hello Tavros. What's up?"

"You okay? You seem to be... uhh... talking alot..."

"Yeah. I'm up and perfect and dandy. Just got my brain to clicking..."

"Uhh... you said something earlier... about... redrom... for me?"

"Yup."

"Uhh... were you... uhh... joking?"

"Nope." Gamzee looked over at Tavros, grinning wideley. "I'm all up neck deep in redrom for you, Tavbro!"

"Uhh..." Tavros's face grew even more brown than before as he stared at Gamzee. "That's... uhh..."

"Yeah, bro! I mean, whatever Fanfiction says has gotta be true, ya know? I've been up and reading that shit for the past week, and we're like... matesprites galore!" Gotta follow that shit, ya know Bro? I'll be up and kissing your dead body some day!" He grinned wildly, as if he were revealing the future. Tavros could only stare, mouth agape.

"Uhh... I don't... uhh... I don't think you understand... quadrants..."

"Huh..." Gamzee stared at the sky. "Maybe..."

"You should... uhh... talk to Karkat..."

"Yeah... probably..."

"And... uhh... Don't go kissing people?"

"Alright, bro!" Gamzee flopped back, hands behind his head, staring at the sky. Tavros stared at him for a while, very confused about the conversation they just had, his face still brown. After a while, he gave up, and leaned back also, letting out a small sigh, wondering if Gamzee would make more sense if he would just stop eating those stupid pies...

*Maybe I can just... take them away from him? He'll sober up, and I'll understand what he's talking about... that'll be a good idea, right?*

* * *

She woke, like she always does, in her bright room on the top of a tower, in Prospit. She sat up, yawning, and stretching, her smile wide. Getting out of bed, she walked over to her window, gazing at the clouds above her.

Gamzee and Tavros.

Her sleeping form being carried by a man in shades, Eridan following behind.

Imperial Drones.

Pumpkins. Many many pumpkins.

Kanaya and another unknown troll talking together as Terezi sniffs around.

Karkat. Tripping on a pumpkin.

Vriska pounding on her computer's keyboard and yanking out her hair.

A gun.

A Quest Bed.

Aradia Bot.

She knew what she had to do, and jumped out the window, allowing her body to float, bobbing up and down as she stared at the sky. She knew where she had to go. The problem was getting there.

* * *

"Why the hell can't I find anything about them?" Vriska slammed her hands on the keyboard repeatedly, and then reverted to pulling her hair out in frustration. She slammed her head down on the desk, letting out a loud, annoyed groan. She lay there for a few moments, allowing her rage to bubble inside of her before she looked up at her computer again.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] Began Pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

TG: Hey I found something. Maybe this will help.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] Ceased Pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

Vriska looked at the small underlined link Roxy sent her. Curious, she clicked on it, and a new tab blinked open, filling from top to bottom with bright green text. She sighed, leaning her head on her hand as she began at the top paragraph.

* * *

"GLUB GLUB! THESE flowers smell glubbing fantastic! Oh Cod I could sniff these all day!"

"I know! They are purrfect!" Nepeta purred as she lounges in the flowers, smiling to herself. Aradia stood at the edge of the flower bed, staring at nothing as Feferi glubbed and Nepeta giggled. Equius stood a few inches from her left side, Sollux a few feet from her right.

"Sollux! Come join me! This is so much fun!"

"Nah. I'll thtay right-"

"Shouldn't you know? He doesn't do stuff like that. He's a hacker, not a frolicker." Aradia cut Sollux off, speaking in her monnotous voice. Sollux turned to Aradia, a nervous look on his face. Feferi looked up from the flowers.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. I just thought you'd know your matesprit more than you do." Aradia said calmly. Feferi glared at her for a few moments before Sollux cut in.

"You know what? I think I'll join you guyth in the flowerth! It lookth more fun than I thought!" He awkwardly stepped into the flowers, sitting near Feferi. Feferi shot a snide grin at Aradia as she leaned on Sollux. Aradia hissed slightly, but was cut off by a pumpkin landing on her head, splitting in two and spilling it's pumpkin guts all over her metal shell. She stopped her hissing in shock as the orange slime ran down her face, blurring her vision as it reached the lenses.

"What the..."

"*Nepeta laughs cutely as she watches the pumpkin running down Aradia's body, wondering where the orange vegetable came from.*" Nepeta giggled as Aradia wiped the pumpkin away from her optic lenses, frowning slightly.

"I don't find humor in this."

"My creation! My perfect creation! It's covered in slime!" Equius was sweating profusely as he stared in shock at Aradia's form, covered head to toe in sludge. Aradia turned to him, tilting her head to the side.

"It's just a little pumpkin. It's not like it'll get stuck in my hair or anything. My hair is made of Metal. It'll just come off if I wipe it off. I'd understand your distraught if you were the one that had the pumpk-" A pumpkin, as if on cue, appeared above Equius's head, breaking on his noggin, spillin an equal amount of orange crap on him as it did her. Aradia closed her mouth as Feferi and Nepeta burst into laughter, rolling in the flowers. Equius shot Nepeta a glare, and she fell silent, scratching her ear.

"This is not funny." Equius said, his voice shaking slightly in anger. Nepeta nodded her head in agreement.

"Sorry for laughing."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! THIS IS HILARIOUS!" Feferi burst into even louder laughing, rolling in the flowers. Aradia stared at her.

"I'm guessing, though, that there is a third pumpkin. There are always either 4, 1, or 3. We've had 2, so there should be one, or two more." Aradia said calmly. "Oh. There it is." She walked over to a pumpkin sitting on the ground. "I've found it." She smiled slightly as she chucked it at Feferi's head.

* * *

She saw it all in the clouds. She saw the chucking of the pumpkin. Realizing she had less time than she thought, She continued on to her first destination, floating hastilty through Prospit's bright skies.

She reached her destination rather quickly, and burst into the room. She walked over to the sleeping body, resting easily in the bed.

She slapped her.

"So... uhh... you said something about Jade being powerful? Something about lime blood?"

"Oh yeah! She's up and powerful like a high blood on steriods, Tavbro!"

"How do you...uhh... know this stuff?"

"I'm a high blood myself! They up and tried to draft me in the Lime Blood Genocide attempt."

"uhh... what?"

* * *

Vriska leaned back, finally finished with the huge website Roxy sent her. She let out a sigh, her eyes wide.

"Holy-" She fell asleep.

* * *

"Yeah. She's one of the few survivors. I never thought I'd up and meet one. Nor up and become her companion. But both happened."

"A genocide attempt?"

"Well I guess it wasn't really an attempt cuz it mostly worked. Cept for a few stragglers. We used to be up and crawling in lime bloods. They were all over the place! They were up and powerful too. I was up and friends with a whole bunch of em!"

"What...uhh...happened?"

"The high bloods up and decided they were too powerful. So they began the Lime Green Holocaust. It was really hard for them to kill them. They had some sort of ability... Some of em had extreme psychic ability... and some of them seemed to just know stuff... and they used that knowledge like a weapon. They planned stuff... caused... coincidences. Used people."

* * *

Vriska woke up, her eyes jerking open. She immediately regretted it as she stared at the face staring down at her.

"Are you haunting me now? I can't seem to get rid of you."

"We'll talk about that later. Right now, I need your help." Jade looked at Vriska with all seriousness, her gold dress glinting in the light of Prospit. Vriska glared at her.

"Why would I help you?" Vriska questioned, still annoyed, but slightly unnerved by Jade's serious face.

"Because I have a feeling you will like what I want you to do." Jade said, still tense, staring at Vriska. Vriska's interest was piqued.

"And what is that?"

"Kill Aradia."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! Sorry about the slow updates! I get my grades up, get access to a computer again, and Shkapow! … My grandfather of 81 gets Pneumonia, and almost dies... Try writing with that going on with out everything becoming a sad stuck. But he's home now! And I can start writing again! Yay ^_^ SO going on!  
**  
"What the GLUB WAS THAT?" Feferi screeched, pumpkin sludge sticking her hair to her face as she stood, getting in Aradia's face, fuming. Her face was bright purple as her hand twitched, now holding her trident. Aradia stared down at her, her face emotionless.  
"Oh. Truly sorry. It must have been an accident."  
"An accident? AN ACCIDENT! You threw it at my face!"  
"I did no such thing."  
"FISHPASTE!"  
"What?"  
"You're an ass! Why did you do that?"  
"Do what, exactly? I don't know what you're talking about." Aradia stared down at her, not backing away as Feferi's face grew darker and darker shades of purple. She twitched here and there, her hand gripping her trident firmly. She took a deep breath, backing away a few inches. "Okay. I don't want to fight... I'll back down for now. But don't do fish kind of stuff again!"  
"Do what?" Aradia couldn't help the small smile licking the edges of her mouth as she saw Feferi snap. The fish troll whipped around, wielding her trident, and thrusting it straight at Aradia's stomach. Aradia smirked, backstepping easily, the tip of the fork barely grazing her metal form. She quickly grasped the pole, yanking the trident past her, sending Feferi coming flying toward her. Aradia leaned inward, and with her free hand, thrust it into Feferi's stomach, feeling nothing as it broke a rib. Feferi doubled over Aradia's arm, coughing slightly as Aradia pushed her off her arm, sending her across the field, and crashing into a tree. Feferi's head snapped back as she made contact with the bark, but she barely had time to think as Aradia came charging toward her, twisting her arm inward again for a second strike. Feferi quickly grasped her trident, twisting it in her arms. Aradia struck, thrusting her arm forward just as Feferi swung her weapon across her front, bashing her arm away with much difficulty. Feferi kept spinning, using the other end of the trident to knock Aradia away from her. They sprawled in the grass, opposite of each other, snarling and pacing, completely ignoring Nepeta as she scurries away from them, leaping behind Equius, who was already finding solace behind a very large rock.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Hold on a minute, you want me to Kill Aradia?" Vriska stared incredulously at Jade, her head tilted, but still unable to hide the smile creeping over her face.  
"Yeah."  
"Isn't she dead already?"  
"Yeah."  
"Then how am I supposed to kill her, exactly?"  
"She has a dream self too, you know." Jade grinned down at her, touching her nose playfully. Vriska knocked her hand away, flipping her off as she glared. Jade only smiled back.  
"Gog I hate you."  
"Aww i love you too!"  
"No. I seriously hate you."  
"Okay! Hehe!" Jade smiled again, and Vriska gave up.  
"Why do you want me to kill her anyway?"  
"Does that matter?" Jade raised her eyebrows.  
"Well... no I guess. I don't really care either." Vriska scrached her ear, yawning as she shifts into a more comfortable position. "Well I guess this sounds fun How am I supposed to do it?"  
"Eh. I'd suggest controlling another derse dreamer. Just off her head. Simple as that, I guess."  
"Can I torture her?"  
"Uhh..." Jade looked to the side, the silence pointing out the awkwardness of the question. Vriska stared quietly for a few moments before attempting to pull out her puppy dog eyes.  
"Oh please? please please please please please please please?" Her puppy dog eyes looked more like spider eyes, and Jade couldn't help but flinch slightly when she turned to look. She scratched her neck.  
"Uhh..."  
"I said please 8 times, you know."  
"I know. Lemme think for a few moments... Uhh... Yeah I think you can!"  
"YAY!"  
"But under one condition!"  
"awwwwwwww..."  
"Just keep her where she is lying. Don't move her." Jade looked her straight in the eyes, unfaltering. Vriska looked back at her, her smile twisting into a frown.  
"Oh."  
"Promise me."  
"I don't know. It's not really killing if-"  
"PROMISE ME!" Jade yelled, closing in on Vriska's face. Vriska laughed slightly, backing away a few inches.  
"Fine fine fine! I promise. But only because you're annoying me!" She sighed.  
"Oh good!"  
"When do you want me to kill her, exactally?"  
"Right when I tell you to. No sooner, no later. Got it?"  
"Yeah yeah whatever."

"Jesus FUCK! WHERE ARE THEY!" Karkat stormed from one room to the next, screaming each trolls names out, followed by countless profanities. As he storms from room to room, he begins to get more and more agitated, and finally storms into the control room of the cairrage. He stomps up to the control panel, and grabs the intercom system. "HEY FUCKASSES! WHERE ARE YOU!" His voice trails outward, in all directions, but is quickly swallowed up by the bountiful trees. He lets out an annoyed grunt, chucking the intercom hand piece across the room. It smashes against a wall, but does little to no other damage. He pivots quickly to storm out of the room and takes his first step, only to trip over a pumpkin, and go plummeting across the room, slamming straight into and snapping off the break. He stares at it for a few moments, his face going pale. The carriage begins to lurch forward slowly.  
Now there is something you need to understand about Troll automobiles. They do not have "Gas" and "Break." They have "Break," and "Break." Depending on how hard you pull the break, depends on how slow you go. If you leave the break alone, you will slowly increase speed until mach 5. Thus, a broken break is a lot worse than it sounds.  
And this can evidently be seen through Karkat's frantic scrambling to try and fit his sickle into the small wedge where the handle broke off, attempting with all his might to create a makeshift break, pulling and yanking, cursing up a storm.  
The carriage only increased in speed ever so diligently, starting at a slow lurching pace, but quickly reaching a walking, then running, then sprinting pace. Within a few moments, he was having much difficulty staying near the break itself due to Inertia fighting against him. After a few more seconds of struggling, inertia finally won, sending him flying back into the opposite wall of the control room, knocking him unconscious. He fell to the floor, still plastered to the wall.

"Now?"  
"No."  
"How bout now?"  
"No."  
"NOW?"  
"NO! Just wait! Geez, just rip off her legs or something!"  
"But it's no fuuuuuuuun! She won't wake up! Can I just kill her?"  
"NOT YET!"  
"PLEEEEEEEEASE?"  
"JEGUS! NO, OKAY? Do you want to die? If not, just keep waiting!"  
"Fiiiiiiiine..."

"I do believe you are a most interesting troll, beside the off start."  
"I make do." Rose smiled slightly at Kanaya, her book folded quaintly in her lap. Kanaya smiled back, unable to resist Rose's intellectual genius and impeccable fashion sense. She knew almost immediately she was swimming deep in red, but decided a comfortable conversation would be much more suitable for a in forest encounter. She and Rose had been talking about the lackluster fashion sense of other trolls, sharing their own fashion secrets, swapping book titles, and discussing their psycho analysis of their separate troll companions for quite a while, only being distracted here and there by Terezi's random epiphanies or "I found a new clue! LIIIICK!" Other than that, they seemed to be enjoying each others companies without hindrance.  
Rose herself was also feeling slightly smitten with this new Green blooded troll she had just met. She believed her fashion matched her own level of pulchritude with ease, and her intelligence rivaled that of any troll she had met before. She had spent only a small amount of time with Kanaya, but had already decided she was a suitable troll to, as her troll friend says, "stick around with." She even was considering skipping around in the redroms a bit herself, and couldn't stop a slight smile as Kanaya sat slightly closer to her.  
Prancing in the quadrants, they both believed, was a rather complicated thing when incorporating trolls of their intelligence level. Every possible Matesprit, Kismesis, Moirail, or Auspistice had to be carefully scrutinized for all pro's, con's, and sexual attraction. Thus, both girls scanned the other with much intrigue, Rose biting her lip slightly as she stared into Kanaya's eyes, keeping the conversation flowing, weaving the Alternian language to her own whim.  
Kanaya found both the staring, and the speaking, rather sexy.  
The possibility of them sitting any closer to each other quickly flew out the window as their hips conjoined, Rose offering Kanaya her book.  
Kanaya obliged, taking the book from Rose's waiting hands, a small shiver erupting from where their fingers brushed together. They looked at each other, entrapped in each other's eyes, their faces slowly growing closer and closer together. Their lips were a hair width apart, and Kanaya longed so much to close that last millimeter of space.  
She leaned forward.  
"HEHE! HEY GUYS! LOOK AT THIS!" Terezi screeched, appearing right in front of them, holding out a blood covered flower. They pulled away, their faces glowing the respective colors of their blood. Terezi giggled louder, holding the flower out. "It's rather straaaange, is it not? This little flower! It's soooooo interesting, isn't it?" She inquired, a huge smile on her face, Rose's and Kanaya's faces reflecting off her red tinted glasses. The girls looked away, embarrassed. Terezi giggled some more. "Oh! Soooo sorry! I just HAAAD to show you this! Look look!" She held out the ordinary flower out to the girls again, snickering at her perfectly timed Cock Block.  
Err... Bone Bulge block...  
Err... What do troll females have? Terezi thought for a few moments, but passed it away as a fleeting thought. She was only 6 years old anyway. What would she know of this stuff? Maybe a few years later she'd get it. She sniffed back up to the two girls, scrunching her nose. "Hey! What's wrong? You smell different... like... Fear... oooohhh! Are you afraid of me?"  
"You only wish you could evoke such a response from either of us. No. Turn around and look... err... smell for yourself." Kanaya spoke, her eyes staring at the large guest that had just joined their humble party. Terezi turned around. "...oh..."  
"It seems I will have to take a rain check on our conversation. Some very rude Drones have decided to interrupt." Rose frowned, glaring at the Imperial Drone towering over them. Her frown quickly turned to a look of concern, though, as 4 more drones landed, two on each side of the first, each just as large, just as menacing. "That is... if we survive..."

"Kay how bout now?"  
"NO!"  
"AUGH!"

"Coincidences?" Tavros stared at Gamzee, utterly confused. Gamzee looked up at Tavros, smiling a slightly dopey smile.  
"Yeah, bro. Like, every time they did something, they would somehow... oh how the motherfuck do I up and explain this shit? It's like... Their timing is perfect, ya know?"  
"Uhh... No. I don't." Tavros sighed.  
Gamzee copied his sigh. "Okay man. It's like they up and knew everything that was going on around them, and could somehow use it all to up and make weird shit happen at their command. Like, if one of them was up and getting their motherfucking ass handed to them on a steaming lusus platter, BAM! Somehow, a random troll would be there, as if by some weird ass coincidence, and the lusus would think that troll was more tasty. Or the troll would just up and kill the lusus cuz he thought it'd up and be fun or some shit like that."  
"I.. uhh... I don't think I fully... uhh... understand."  
"Well, it's like they can plan shit to happen at exactly the right time to save their lives, or the lives of the people they've grown a liking too."  
"That's... uhh..."  
"Just you wait, bro! You'll up and see! She'll up and do it someday. She might be doing it right now, for all I know."

"Now?"  
"JEGUS! DON'T YOU HAVE ONE LICK OF PATIENCE?"  
"NOOOOOOOOPE!"  
"JUST WAIT!"

"!" Karakat screamed as he regained conciousness, realizing that the carriage was going faster than he had ever known possible. He screamed louder, his face growing red in terror.  
Vriska's body flopped off the chair in front of her computer, and she went flying across the room, plastering herself to the wall.

"Now?"  
"I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND JUST WAIT!"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
Sollux had joined Eridan and Nepeta behind the rock, but all three had to quickly flee to a different hiding spot when Feferi slammed her trident into it, splitting the boulder in two, just barely missing Aradia. Aradia returned fire, also just barely missing Feferi's head.  
They sparred back and forth as the three bystanders fled to another hiding spot. Feferi and Aradia continued their battle, slowly moving further and further away from Eq, Nep, and Sol, the battle itself getting nowhere in its stalemate stasis.

"...N-"  
"Speak, I shoot." Jade was now holding a gun to a very impatient Vriska's head. Vriska's smile at her attempts to annoy Jade dissipated as the cold metal touched her horn.

They stood, all three of them, elbow to elbow, staring down the now twelve Imperial Drones as they advanced on the trio.  
"We seem to be in a slight predicament."  
"Agreed."  
"WE FIGHT!" Terezi shouted over Kanaya and Rose's rather quiet conversation, wielding her walking stick as she rushed forward, bashing one atop the head. It did little to no damage, but succeeded in evoking the withdrawal of Kanaya's lipstick, and Rose's knitting needles. They attacked in sucession, Kanaya easily chopping the arm off the drone Terezi had just walloped, Rose blasting bulbs of energy toward the drone's head. Terezi returned with another strike, jabbing her stick in the joints of the neck, and popping the head off the drone like a cap off a bottle of old fashion faygo. The drone, now headless, and missing one arm, fell to the ground, motionless. Terezi let out a victory whoop as Kanaya loped to the next drone, smearing lipstick all over it's face. It knocked her back, leaving the green marks on its red painted face as it advanced closer to Rose. Kanaya rejoined Rose's side, and Terezi was quick to follow, hurtling through the air after a drone knocked her off its torso. The regain their composure, each retaking their fighting stance as five more drones land in front of them.  
"Abscond?" Rose inquired, taking a slight step back.  
"Agreed." Kanaya mirrored Rose's slow retreat, almost dragging Terezi as she pounced forward again. As if in slow motion, they pivoted, only to be barrelled over by another group of trolls who seemed to have had the same idea they did, but quite a while ago.  
Dave slammed into Terezi, and they rolled, sprawling on the ground, Jade's sleeping body flying in a random direction, landing in an awkward position off to the side. Eridan somehow slammed into both Kanaya and Rose, one of his hands resting on Kanaya's breast.  
She chopped off his hand.  
Unfortunately, lipstick doesn't chop very well, and the green hue just smeared across his lusty grey skin. She cursed, and shoved him off, all 5 of them standing quickly as a group of twenty or so more drones flew out of the woods in hot pursuit of Dave and friends. They flew over the kids, and pivoted in the air, joining the already large hoard of drones advancing slowly on the 5 kids, and one body.

Jade stared at the clouds as they floated peacefully over Prospit's land, showing not very peaceful going ons. She stared, watching silently as the drones advanced on the 5 kids and her sleeping body. She watched as Aradia backpedaled, barely avoiding each of Feferi's jabbing attacks. She squinted, waiting.  
Waiting.  
Waiting.  
"Now?" She shot, leaving a hole a few inches from Vriska's face. Vriska fell silent.

Aradia was on the defensive, back pedaling constantly, barely avoiding each of Feferi's jabs. Feferi only continued advancing, slashing, flicking, punching, and jabbing her trident at Aradia's cold metal body, ruthlessly attacking.  
Aradia backed up more and more, fearing poke-age. Feferi swung one more time, right at Aradia's chest.  
Fortunately, Aradia slipped on the remnants of the pumpkin she had slammed into Feferi's face earlier, sending her plummeting downward. Feferi just barely missed, her scepter hitting only dirt as she landed on top of Aradia. Aradia quickly took this time to plant both her hands on Feferi's chest.  
She shoved, separating Feferi from her precious pitchfork as she flew skyward, flipping uncontrollably through the air.

Jade smiles. "NOW!"  
Vriska squealed in delight, her eyes twitching slightly as she brough her hands to her temples.

It was rather easy for Hearts Boxcar to chop off the sleeping girl's head.

Aradiabot exploded.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hiyas Guys! I'm learning quick the ins and outs of Fanfiction, and it's making me a little giddy ^_^. For one I learned pretty quickly that if you put even a small AN at the top before you start the next chap... for some unspoken reason, more people review! How odd o~o... I've also learned that a lot of people HATE OC stories. (Just deleted mine, for more than one reason (They SSUUCCCKKED). Anywhoo, thanks for reading! **

He stared out the window, eyes wide, still screaming bloody murder as the carriage hurtled through the forest at full speed, almost (but not) hitting every tree as it flew past. He yanked and pulled desperately at the broken break, glancing back at the window occasionally to make sure he knew about his imminent destruction by tree impact before it happened. The broken break held fast, not budging more than half a millimeter under his desperate yanks and tugs. As he glanced at the window once again, a quick glint of silver and purple caught his eye off to the side. He dropped the break attempts (as they weren't doing any good anyway), and squinted at the blurred silhouettes in the distance. They were rather quickly growing in size as he flew toward them, and it didn't take much time for him to realize the silhouettes were none other than Aradia and Feferi, jabbing and slashing at each other, a murderous aura almost spewing from their very pores. He leaned forward, watching in horror as Feferi struck over and over, swinging her trident wildly, driving Aradia back. They grew larger still as Aradia slipped, Feferi landing atop her, lifting her trident for the Final Blow. He was almost right next to them when Aradia slammed both her hands into Feferi's chest, pushing upward.

That was about when it got nuclear. Karkat did not have time to shield his eyes or turn away before the explosion reached the carriage, sending the whole vehicle spinning sideways, Karkat slamming into every wall and object possible as Explosion and Inertia battled for control over the carriage and its contents.

He had only lasted for a few seconds before he was knocked unconscious by a sharp blow to the head by who-knows-what. The world grew black around him as he faded away, glad that he didn't have to be conscious for the spinning any longer.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

They looked like a battle baton of fierce warriors, forced into defense as the army 5-fold advanced on their limited numbers. Dave stood in the front, wielding his sword in front of him, his shades glinting red, the muscles in his arm tensing in preparation for the first wave of attacks.

Kanaya and Rose stood on either side of him, sneaking side glances at each other holding their weapons at ready. Rose flicked her wand in her hand, biting her lip in anticipation, forcing the thoughts of "Abscond" to the back of her mind. Kanaya applied her lipstick, almost cutting her head off when the green balm turned into the silver saw. She pulled back, revving her weapon and staring one of the drones straight in the optic lense.

Eridan, for once in his life, looked cool as his own hipster glasses glinted a light purple as he leaned his gun against his shoulder, a wand in his other hand. He growled, his ear fins folding back across his ears. He clacked his teeth together in a menacing snarl, dropping the gun from its resting position to a ready position, pointing it toward the waiting army, his finger flirting lightly with the trigger.

Terezi's walking stick disconnected into three parts, connected by rope, and she held one section in each hand, letting the final end hang loosely toward the ground. She flicked her wrist, and the loose end began to spin. In a matter of moments, she had the last segment spinning at very dangerous speeds. She smiled, allowing her tongue to lull outward for a few seconds, happily tasting the determination of her comrades.

Jade snored behind them, a small pile of drool collecting under her face, watering the moss and grass underneath her.

As if called by an unheard cry, the drones floated forward, their eyes glowing menacingly. Dave was the first to react, bending his knees in preparation to jump on the closest drone's head.

That was about the exact time that Aradia exploded.

The earth shook under the trolls feet as the explosion shook the foundation of the roots below them. Each troll jerked their heads at the same time, in the same direction, just in time to be blinded by the billowing red of the explosion. Moments later, their very own carriage came hurtling into view, spinning through the air.

It flew onward, crashing first into only the heads of the drones closest to its hull. But as Gravity joined the battle of Explosion VS Inertia, the carriage began to tilt downward, taking out more and more robots as it tumbled through the army. Heads, arms, and torsos flew in every direction, slamming into trees, sending debris flying in all directions. The 5 warriors shielded their eyes as bark, metal, and dust flew in their direction.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

"There, see, my motherfucking Tavbro? Hear that shit? That would be Jade working her motherfucking Miracles." Gamzee let his dopey smile spread across his face as he stared at the orange cloud in front of him, his face lit up by the emitted luminescence. Tavros stared with saucer eyes as the orange expanded, swallowing up the forest in front of him. His jaw dropped open, and his awe slowly turned into panic as the fire grew closer and closer to where they sat. He sat up straight, pressing his hands into the dirt, ready to stand and flee. Gamzee lightly touched his hand. "Don't worry, bro. We're far enough away. I got this shit." He smiled, and Tavros relaxed, looking back at the fire. Gamzee was right. It stopped before it reached them, leaving quite a comfortable buffer zone between them and the fire. He only felt a small amount of heat brush against his face before the red slowly dissipated, replaced with the grey smoke it always left behind.

Tavros let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Wow... Good thing this forest is...uhh... Humid. Else this place would be really scorching right now."

"S' a motherfucking Miracle." Gamzee replied, yawning.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

She wished she understood what exactly happened when these coincidences occurred. She wished she could say that every moment, every second, every motion was her own planning, her own creation. But she couldn't. She only knew one thing. Aradia had to die at this time. Exactly this time. And if she didn't, all her comrades would perish.

Thus, she was just as shocked to see the clouds above her taint red as Aradia Bot exploded, the explosion curling outward, singing Nepeta's tail. She was just as surprised to see the explosion knock the passing carriage sideways, sending it trapezing into a waiting army of Imperial Drones, flying over them, and through some crazy stroke of luck (or coincidence), sweeping all but 3 heads off the bodies. She felt her own jaw drop as the carriage slammed into a tree, and came to a jeering stop, drone heads falling like snow as each decapitated drone slowly shut down, slumping in a deactivated heap.

Her own body slumped as well as three words slammed into her conscience. She collapsed on the Spider Girl's bead, letting out a sigh of exhaustion and relief.

They are safe.

Those three words rang like soothing bells in her ears as she flopped back, ignoring Vriska's evil laughs and pestering.

They are all safe.

She thought for a moment. That one added word pulled against her mind, and she felt her stomach tighten. It never worked this well. She knew that well enough. There was always something that died when she felt that nagging need. When coincidences occurred all around her, somehow saving herself or Bec, something died. Whether it be a wandering troll or even a lusus, she knew well enough the cost of saving her own skin.

Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth. Life for a life.

Jade tried to ignore the biting pain in her stomach, and the riding conscience piercing at her thoughts. Aradia's death counted, didn't it?

Didn't it? Jade couldn't help but laugh wryly at her hopeful attitude. That wasn't how the troll society worked. There were no loopholes. Revenge, death, and hatred ran through the troll's blood. Jade guessed that if she were human like the Jake boy she always pestered, then maybe she might be more lucky, and maybe more happy. But it was the painful truth to her that she was not human, she was not lucky, and she was not as happy as she assumed she should be.

Watching things die had a tendency to do that to you. Take away your happiness (or at least some of it). Jade felt mentally and physically caput as a small tear escaped, rolling down her grey cheek.

Vriska had been poking Jade for the past few minutes, attempting with all her might to get one good "annoy her" in before the time came for them to wake, and for Jade to get back in her "Laughs at everything" mood. It wasn't working very well, and Vriska's verbal and physical jabs became steadily more assaulting as her temper and impatience grew. With a final jab, Vriska looked up at Jade's face just in time to see the tear. She froze up for a second, but then smiled even wider. "Woah. Jade. Who died? You're leaking!" She teased, flicking Jade's face. Jade blinked a few times, and looked up at her, unable to find the humor in just how ironic Vriska's last comment was. She stared at her for a few moments before shaking her head back and forth and smiling at Vriska.

"Oh sorry." She wiped the tear away. "I just have a rather bad premonition."

"Whatever. Can we wake up now? It's boring as fuck here."

"Yeah okay sure!" Jade smiled up at her, attempting to return to her previously happy state. Vriska ignored her as she dropped to the floor, her dream self now asleep. Jade sighed, but quickly followed suit.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

After quite a while, the noise and flying debris died down.

Gravity, Friction, and Very-Heavy-Objects-Slamming-Into-The-Hull-Of-The-Carriage had won against Explosion and Inertia.

The only sound that floated through the air was the quiet ticking of the carriages engine as it cooled down, and the slightly louder snores from Jade. Dave blinked a few times from behind his shades, staring at the utter destruction in front of him. Not a drone was left standing, and only a few were even moving slightly, still attempting to get to the Warriors by dragging the useless hull of their body with the remaining arm they had left.

He quickly dispatched them as the other trolls turned around, wiping the dust from their faces and staring at the destruction. Terezi blinks a few times, sniffing the air.

"Well that was... convenient." She says, licking her lips. Rose nods her head, looking at the destroyed carriage as it tinks and rumbles slightly.

"Karkat and Vriska were in there."

"Hmm. True. We should probably get them out." Kanaya responded, walking over to the carriage and observing the crushed hull. She plastered lipstick all over the metal, breaking it apart and stepping through the debris. She quickly found Vriska, and lifted her from her seat, dragging her into the open. Dave went in next, pulling out Karkat.

"You have to admit though. That wwas rather unclimactic. I wwas expecting a battle of epic proportions. It wwas a slight let dowwn, if you ask me." Eridan shot the gun through a dead hull, leaving a smoldering hole behind him.

Jade and Vriska opened their eyes at the same time, sitting up simultaneously, and staring at the destruction. Vriska sniffed. "Well damnit. Not a robot left to spar with."

"Oh. Looks like you have decided to wake up." Kanaya looked at Vriska, smiling slightly. Vriska stretches, standing.

"Yeah. I was hoping for a little fun with the leftover robots. I was apparently too late. Damnit!" She cursed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh don't be so upset! I'm sure we'll have some other time to battle drones!" Jade spoke, rubbing her eyes, smiling slightly. She looked around at each person as they stared at her. "What?"

"How did you sleep through all that? Vriska makes sense, since she was in her capchalogued room, but you were just snoring away. Like some sort of sleeping goddess who can be only awakened when all danger has disappeared. You're like a-"

"Wwell Hell! You got him started again! It took me forevver to get him to shutup last time! Dave! SHUT THE GLUB UP!"

"Fine." Dave fell silent. Rose and Kanaya walked over to Jade.

"You okay?" Rose asked, holding her hand out to Jade. Jade takes it, and Rose helps her stand.

"Uhh. Yes! I'm fine! Thank you!" Jade said. "But who are you, exactally?"

"Rose."

"Ahh. Right. I'm jade!"

"Nice to meet you." She smiles slightly. Jade smiles in return, and turns to Dave. "And you?"

"Dave. As you already heard from our fishy friend. I'm the king of ironic lingos and sick metaphors. I can rap better than-"

"SHUT UP!"

"..." Dave stared at Eridan, and was about to retort with what everyone knew would blast Eridan out of the water and set him straight with Ironic lingo, when another troll came bursting through the brush.

"MREOW! HELP HELP!" Nepeta shouts as she tumbles through the brush, and into the clearing, hopping over the heaps of metal, and screaming the whole way. "It's Feferi! Feferi! She's... Feferi! Help!" She screeches.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N: Haha... Sorry, Writers block! I'm back though!**

She was dead.

Without even getting to the area where her body was split into a thousand different pieces, scattered around the ground, hanging in the trees, painting the green forest a reddish purple, Jade knew.

She was dead.

Jade cursed at herself as she ran after Nepeta, tripping over roots and rocks as she stumbled through the forest, her eyes widening as the tainted trees came into view. It was all planned so perfectly. She knew it was! She had thought the whole thing through, put Aradia on a Quest Bed, timed her death and placement perfectly, sent the wagon flying at the drones, took all of them out. It was all so _perfect!_  
Her assumption, though, was not.

She tripped onward, her shoes slowly turning a light pink with the blood she stepped through. She finally stopped in front of Sollux, who stood with his mouth slightly open, yellow tears streaming quietly down his face, catching ever so slightly on his glasses before plummeting to his chin. He swallowed as his eyes trailed after Equius, who was currently picking up the ever so small remains of Aradia-Bot, cursing as the chunks of charred metal shattered like glass under his muscled fingers, blue tears streaming down his face as well. As she stared at the two broken hearted trolls, Jade finally felt the guilt strike her in the chest, causing her to flinch slightly when Equius angrily cursed again, lobbing the broken pieces of metal at a tree. She flinched a second time as the tree groaned and squealed in protest as the metal lodged itself into the wood, 7 feet off the ground, sending blood covered splinters flying in every which way direction.  
_No! This wasn't supposed to happen! She was a witch of **life!** She was supposed to LIVE! _Jade's own angry attempts at pointing the blame elsewhere barely sated the extreme pain settling deep in her chest. Logic was too strong in her brain. Somewhere deep inside her, she knew this was going to happen. She knew Feferi was going to be the one to die.

Even a Witch of Life can't heal herself if she's blown into a thousand pieces...

Silence fell over the whole party as the rest of the crew came petering to a halt behind Jade. She winced again as Eridan's voice broke the silence.  
"Oh Cod Fef." He sucked in a breath, not knowing where to look as he twisted his head in every direction, his face blanching as he couldn't find a piece of her body larger than a thimble.

"Aradia'th gone too." Sollux mumbled numbly. "They're both gone." Jade couldn't stop the cold chills that enveloped her face as she stared at 3 men's defeated faces. What was this? She had saved their lives, but all she could feel was this extreme guilt. None of them knew Aradia was still alive and better than ever (Albiet a little lonely at the moment, with only the HorrorTerrors to talk to...). None of them knew that if Fef didn't die, they all would have. None of them knew how _lucky _they were. But _she_ knew...

_Then why do I feel so_ **guilty?** She felt her shoulders slump as Nepeta walked sadly to Equius, resting her hand on his shoulder, and Eridan walked over to Sollux, only to get a killer death glare, and back away to grieve in his own emo corner.

"I'm... I'm so sorry..." She couldn't help but whisper, a small tear catching on her eyelashes. Vriska let out an evil snorting laugh, only making Jade hate herself even more. The tear fell from her eyelashes, running slowly down her face as she backed away, her throat catching. "I'm going to... uhh... Wake Karkat..." She turned on her heels, hating herself even more for fleeing as she ran full speed away from the grieving trolls.  
No one followed her.

* * *

"Hey... uhh... Gamzee?"

"Yeah, Tavbro?"

"Uhh... Where are we going?"

"Oh hey, mother fucker, don't you up and worry bout that shit kay? We're just up and meeting with some of the trolls, yo. Honk. You can up and see em right there!" Gamzee smiled a goofy smile as nine trolls slowly came into view, two of which Tavros had never seen before. It took the small brown troll a few moments to understand the situation, but when his feet squished slightly, and he looked down to see the metal of his robot legs painted slightly pink, it all clicked into place. He took a small breath, his eyes shooting from Gamzee to Equius being comforted by Nepeta, to Sollux numbly standing, paying no attention to Terezi's constant pestering, and licking. Kanaya stood near the edge of a tree, her head down, as a female troll he had never seen before rested her hand lightly on her shoulder. Eridan had gathered quite a few pieces of Feferi's scattered body, and was attempting to put her back together, to no avail, as another male troll stood near, watching him with his arms crossed. Vriska leaned against a tree near Kanaya and the mystery female troll, one of her legs leaning against the bloodstained wood, an evil grin on her face as she caught Tavros's eye.

He had a feeling she knew something that no one else did. He blinked a few times, and looked away from her, walking slowly to where Kanaya stood. He stopped where the charred ground near Aradia's remains started, and turned around to see if Gamzee had followed him.  
He did not.

He was nowhere to be found, but Tavros, at this moment, did not mind. He continued his Trek to Kanaya, worry crossing his face.

* * *

She figured since that was what she said she was going to do, that she should check on Karkat. She returned to the ruins of their wagon, and silently took a seat next to Karkat's sleeping form, letting out a soft sigh as she pulled her knees to her chest.  
Before now, the deaths she had caused through the use of her manipulation had been limited simply to stuck up High Blood attackers who wanted her dead, and wandering Lusus. But now she had killed an innocent troll who had saved her own Lusus's life, let alone her own. She let her head fall onto her knees, choking slightly as guilt closed her throat up a second time.

"Hey," Jade flinched as a voice randomly started to speak. "You know saving the lives of 14 trolls and only having one die is mother fucking bitch tits miraculous, right mother fucker?" She lifted her head to see Gamzee half an inch from her nose, a goofy smile on his face. "One troll dead, one troll blew up. 12 were saved, including the two new mother fuckers that up and appeared out of mother fucking nowhere, man. And you know as well as I that Aradia is up and about as dead as you are." At that last sentence, he leaned back just enough to be able to flick her nose, as if to prove to her that she was alive. She frowned, looking down again.

"But..." For some reason, she did not question how he knew what he knew, but instead let a few more tears fall down her face as she sniffled. "But I killed someone."

He smacked her head rather hard, and she looked up in protest only to be interrupted by the serious look on his face. "If you didn't do what you did, you would have the murder of 14 trolls on your head, not including John.

"Whose John?"

"Never mother fucking mind. You'll figure it out later." he touched her nose lightly, his goofy smile returning. "Just know this. You did good today. A mother fucking miracle that you were here."

His smile was contagious, and she couldn't help but smile slightly in return.

"Thanks...

"No, mother fucker, thank _you!"_ He grinned even wider, if that was possible, and then turned his face to a slumbering Karkat. Even in his sleep, he looked like something crawled up his ass and died. "Now to up and fix this little bitch tits of a mother fucker." He crawled away from Jade, reaching over to Karkat, and lifting his head off the ground, cradling it slightly in his hands. "Hey mother fucker. Wake up." Karkat did not stir, but let out a small snore. "Mother fucker." Gamzee's voice grew in volume slightly. Karkat stirred slightly, but otherwise stayed completely still.

Jade watched, smirking slightly as Gamzee spoke louder and louder, and started to shake Karkat slightly. Karkat barely moved, letting out a small "Fuck you." She giggled slightly, enjoying watching their interaction. Gamzee let out a small sigh, and looked over to Jade, winking. He stood, and lifted Karkat to his feet, balancing him with one hand as he reached his other hand reached downward.

Suddenly, her giggling halted and her jaw dropped open, her face turning bright red. She sucked in her breath, and looked away quickly, covering her face with her hands. After half a second, she looked back through her fingers, and her ears turned red as well. She couldn't stop the snort that escaped, nor the rolling on the floor belly laughter that followed.

Gamzee had, with relative ease, ripped Karkat's pants off of him, leaving them dangling at his ankles.

Leaving Karkat's "My Little Pony" underwear perfectly open for viewing.

Pinkie Pie pranced all over his nether regions, laughing and giggling, spouting some of her best quotes all over his inner thighs, including "FOREVER!," "I'm not giving him cake! I'm ASSAULTING him with cake!," and "Hold on to your hooves, I'm about to be BRILLIANT!"

Gamzee stared at Karkat's VERY TIGHT briefs, his eyes wide, and his jaw dropped. "Mother... Fucking... Miracles..." He whispered. Jade laughed even harder.

That was about the time Karkat woke up. He opened his eyes to see Gamzee staring downward, and hear Jade's laughter. "WHat the FUCK are you laughing about?"

Jade could respond about as well as she could breath. She choked on the ground. Karkat stared at her for a moment, and then noticed the slight and pleasant breeze around his knees. His eyebrows squinted slightly, his brain telling him that something was not quite right... He looked down. "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" He bent down, pulling his pants up, and shooting a glare at Gamzee. "What the fuck, Gamzee? That's just wrong."

"Nice... underwear!" Jade giggled, wiping the tears from her eyes. Karkat flipped her off.

"Shouldn't we be, i don't know, worrying about the fact that our wagon is fucking up in FLAMES, and there are only THREE of us here right now? Where the fuck are the others?" His serious face quickly snapped Jade out of her giggling fit, and she looked down at the ground, a frown resettling on her face.

She stood, brushing her clothes off. "They... They are over there." She ushered in the direction of the rest of the trolls. "We should take you there now."

"So they're alive?"

"Most of them." Jade responded, guilt hitting her again.

"Who died?"

"Feferi and Aradia."

"Oh." The three trolls fell silent, and Jade took that moment to walk in the direction of the remaining trolls. Karkat silently followed, and Gamzee, for once, understood the serious nature surrounding the red and lime trolls, and he trotted behind, biting his lower lip, smiling slightly at his accomplishment at making Jade smile for even a little bit.

* * *

When they reached the rest of the trolls, not much had changed in the atmosphere. The trolls themselves had slowly drifted further and further apart from each other, and were now each seperated by at least 10 feet each, the exceptions being the pairs of Nepeta and Equius, Kanaya, Rose, and Tavros, and Terezi (Who seemed to be skipping from person to person, collecting "Clues"). Jade felt her shoulders slump again as she looked from troll to troll, hating herself even more. She felt Karkat pass by her, and looked up. He calmly walked to the center of the spread out group, and took a deep breath.

"Alright, fuckasses. Listen up." Each troll seemed to perk their ears slightly, but did nothing else. He pressed forward. "Aradia and Feferi are dead." The trolls flinched in unison, Karkat's frown deepening. "But what kind of a fucking team leader would I be if I let us fall to fucking shambles with a little death here and there? No fuck this shit, we're getting over this little bitch of a mishap, and moving forward." He turned to Sollux. "Sorry your girl and your EX died, but frankly, no one seriously gives a fuck about how sad you are. You're suicidal to begin with." He turned to Eridan. "She broke up with you and turned you down. You had no chance." He turned to Equius. "You loved a robot." he turned to Kanaya. "Why do you even give a fuck? Are you sad because some females are dead, and you were thinking about seducing them? Face it, you can get whatever female you want, so stop bitching about your 'choices' going down a bit." he turned to Vriska. "Fuck you." He turned to Jade. "And i bet you fucking blame yourself for some weird ass shit tastic reason. Whatever. Just quit this shit, and let's keep going." He turned to the trolls. "So stop your fucking emo corner shit, and get the hell over here so we can talk like civilized trolls."

No one moved. He raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms. Slowly, the trolls floated toward each other, their heads still down, more than a few fuming with anger at Karkat's words. He flipped them off. "Okay good. Now."

He looked at all of them, acknowledging Dave and Rose with a slight now.

"What the fuck do we do now?"


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: ... two reviews... two! Only sollux would be proud! ... (Cries) I'm gonna go crawl in an emo corner and cry until I die of dehydration now... I feel so terrible... (Cries for a few moments, and then gets mad) Kay if you don't review, I'm KILLING EVERYONE! (That'll Motivate ya XD)**

**To answer a few questions. Fef and Ara? Yeah they might come back XD**

**Oh. and sorry for this chap being small. I'm trying to go from cliffhanger to cliffhanger here, and The Game seemed like a good ending. (OH BTW, you just LOST the Game) XXXD**

* * *

THe silence was deafening as everyone stared back and forth at each other, not sure if they should open their mouth and speak, or continue staring at the blood on their shoes. Karkat's eyes flipped from troll to troll as he impatiently tapped his foot on the ground. No one answered.

"Well?"

Silence. Karkat sighed, and turned to face no-one in general, kicking a chunk of Feferi's leg. It skidded across the ground, hitting a tree. Sollux and Eridan flinched when the small thud reached their ears.

"Come on, you fuckers." He spat, seeming much more calm than usual, for the situation. "We have to come up with something! The wagon is totaled, Fef and Aradia are dead, Everyone is depressed, and apparently we've got a fucking army of sex collectors following our every move." He leaned against a tree he found to have the least amount of blood splattered against it. "We have to think of something."

Kanaya shifted, making Rose, who had her hand on her back, lift it and look at her curiously. She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before speaking. "It seems simple enough. Equius fixes the wagon, and we abscond. After we are safe, we try to find a reason for our..." She bit her lip for a moment, looking back and forth at everyone. "... Predicament." She turned back to Rose, holding her hand out. Rose quietly took it, and together, they looked back at Karkat, who was silently nodding his head. He looked at Rose for a moment, frowning.

"And we're taking that fuckass with us?" he nodded his head toward Rose, his frown deepening. "How fucking great."

"This fuckass too, bro. You guys seem chill enough for me to hang out with. Not as chill as me though. I'm like fucking icing on an icecream cake in the snow at the Troll Ice Pole. I'm like a fuckin' frozen faygo at a Chilli pepper factory, just chillin all those little peppers till they be spewing out purple miracles."

"Oh COD! Wwhy can't you just fish the facts that NO ONE WWANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU!" Eridan looked up for a moment to shoot daggers at Dave with his eyes.

"Nah, motherfucker. He can keep going." Gamzee looked at Dave, his eyes sparkling. "This is one chill ass mother fucker." He gave Dave a thumbs up, his eyes sparlking, as if he were completely oblivious of the tension surrounding the rest of the trolls. Dave turned to Gamzee, letting the smallest of small smirks appear on his lips.

"I am a chill as-"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Karkat screamed, turning to Dave. He then whipped to Gamzee. "He's not coming with us! NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL!"

"Aww why the mother fuck not?" Gamzee asked, his eyes going wide and begging.

"He's annoying, and I already hate him."

"Oh a new record." Vriska rolled her eyes.

"SHUT UP FUCKASS!" Karkat screamed at Vriska. She laughed, lifting her hands in defense. He turned back to Dave. "Rose can come. She's fine. But I don't like you." He shot daggers at him. "And neither does Eridan. You're just loud and annoying and stupid, and you won't shut up, and I just know that you're going to steal Terezi away from me with your ever fucking sexy looks!" His face was growing slightly red as he stared at Dave. You could almost see the spade blinking above his head, slightly to the left, a few inches away from his horn as he double flipped Dave off.

Nepeta quickly pulled out her sketch board, scribbling something down with big eyes.

Terezi blinked a few times, this movement being visible simply because her glasses had fallen down her nose in shock. Her jaw dropped open, but quickly turned into a smile. "Ohhhhh!" She squealed, almost skipping over to Karkat to put her arm around him. "Is this... perchance..." she tilted her head to the side, lolling her tongue out. "A...NON- platonic hate?"

"Wwhat?" Eridan's mouth dropped open. "for Karkat? That's impossible."

"Can it, Fishfuck. I'm talking." Terezi cut in, licking Karkat's face. Her smile widened. "You hate everyone... but not... Ohhhhh! This is new..." Karkat's face flushed red as Dave couldn't help but stare at him, his eyes still hidden by his shades. Terezi let out a small laugh. "Oh... DAAAAAAAAAVE! I smelled that wink!"

"WHAT THE FUCK! NO! LOOK! WE HAVE TO CONCENTRATE ON WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS SHIT! NOT MY KISMESIS INTERESTS!"

"So you admit it?" Kanaya and Rose spoke at the same time, their eyebrows raising in interest.

"God fuck no." He glared at her, and she lifted her hands in defense. His nostrils flared as he turned back on Dave.

"Fine! You can come. But keep your shit ass mouth SHUT!"

"Oh COD yes!"

"YOU TOO!" Karkat shot a glare at Eridan, causing Eridan to wink at him, and lick his lips. Karkat shuddered, and turned away from him. "So can we get over this shit ass shipping and start thinking about the fucking predicament we are in now?" His voice rang through the air, cold and menacing. The teasing air slowly dissipated, and was replaced with a much more serious manner.

Silence, once again, fell over the trolls.

Karkat let out an exasperated sigh, and turned to Jade. "Jade?" She looked at her feet. He turned on Rose. She turned to the left, suddenly interested in the tree next to her. He spun around, looking at Sollux. He chewed on his lip, staring through the red faced troll. Karkat opened his mouth, inhaling deeply. "Well it looks like we're shit ass fuc-"

"Easy as bitchtits, motherfucker." Gamzee finally spoke, coming up behind Jade, and looming over her, a goofy smile on his lips. Karkat whipped around him, letting out his breath, a small twitch in his left eye.

"What is so FUCKING easy, Gamzee? Feel free to fucking ENLIGHTEN me!"

"What we do next. Motherfucking obvious as Miracles." He rested his chin on the top of Jade's head. She sagged under his weight slightly, feeling her face warm up slightly.

"And what would that be, Gamthee?" Sollux turned, his eyebrows furrowed.

"We enter the mother fuckin game." He leaned against Jade at this, flopping his arms on either side of her, and hanging his head over her shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N: Damn bolding thing was just wiggin out... (sigh) 1st world problems... .**  
**Anyway, Thanks for the reviews guyz! Ya'll are awesome!**

**To Soul X Maka Forever: Sorry for the small chap! I'll try to make this one longer! I promise X.X**

**to YAYfanfics101: Yeah the JadeXGamzee thing? I kinda rolled some dice on that one... but when I started writing, I was like: Ohhh yeah!**

**To Drackial: (Dang your username is hard to remember...) Buckets and Creepy kisses are how I roll ;P and if you want to see how the story ends up, you'll have to keep reading XD (But I'll give some hints... i'm still figuring out all the kinks, but lets just say that Jade has the nasty tendency of ruining everything... no matter if it is in the REAL homestuck, or if it is just in any AU)**

**Disclaimer: I don't know why we need to do this. It's FAN fiction... meaning... Shouldn't people already know that we don't own this stuff? I mean... you friggin CHOSE the thing you want to write about... Whatevs. I own jack shit.**

**This chap is dedicated to Inuyashagirl312! Your reviews make me smile XD  
**

* * *

Jade wasn't quite sure if her face was green because of the purple blooded trolls arms draped over her shoulders, or if it was the horror that struck her to her inner most core at the words 'mother fuckin game.'

_How did he know about the game? **I **barely know the game... I only know the moons. He shouldn't even know it exists, let alone what it is... Who is this troll? _She blinked a few times and turned her head to the left slightly to see his face lingering a few inches from hers. His head sagged for a few moments on her shoulder before he flopped it in her direction, staring into her eyes. He stared at her for a few moments, and then winked, a goofy smile spreading across his face. She couldn't stop her mouth from opening slightly in shock, nor her face from growing a darker shade of green because of... _achem~_... proximity. _  
_

"Okay stop it with the fucking googley eyes, and tell me what the fuck you are talking about with this 'game' shit." Karkat tapped his foot impatiently. "I know I'm a fucking romcom freak, but come on! We've got shit to get done!"

"Irons in the fire!"

"Shut up Vriska. Anyway, I'd like you to explain what you know about this... game fuckery in full detail." He turned his attention back to the clown, who was now attempting to get a smooch from Jade as she, in turn, attempted to wriggle free from his hanging grasp. "OH MY FUCKING GOD! GAMZEE!"

Gamzee looked up. "What, motherfucker?" He grinned. Karkat frowned even deeper than before, the anger lines doubling over each other on his forehead as he stared Gamzee down.

"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ROMANCE A FUTURE MATESPRIT! HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO FUCKING **ANYTHING** I'VE BEEN TEACHING YOU? JEGUS FUCK YOU'RE A HOPELESS FUCKASS!"

"Dude. Calm your tits, bro. Just tryin to up and get me a smooch." He turned back to the woman in his arms, his goofy smile puckering into a kissey face. Jade, in a sudden panic, pushed off his chest and sprawled backward. Unfortunately, Gamzee's grip was much stronger than she expected, and she ended up dragging both of them to the ground, splashing in the mud and guts, him on top of her. He was smiling again, his eyes hinting slightly to his sober side as he slammed his hands onto either side of her face, staring her down. "I'm gonna motherFUCKING KISS you now."

"Oh SHIT! Someone get a pie!" Jade heard someone screech from the background, but was too busy scrambling for a way to get out of what was about to happen. The clown in front of him was scaring her shitless, and she did not want to be kissed by someone who had such _bloodlust_ in his eyes. Her own eyes darted from side to side till she saw her escape. Quickly, she reached to the side, and grabbed an object, ignoring the outbreak of fish puns that followed her "Thievery."

Gamzee waited no longer, lunging forward. Just in time, Jade pulled the object in front of her face, cowering behind the mass of blood and hair as Gamzee smooched Feferi's disembodied head, closing his eyes passionately, and entangling his own fingers in her mane.

"Oh COD! I just fishneshed putting her back together! Noww she has clowwn slobber all ovver her fuckin face!" Eridan swore loudly, glaring at Jade, his eyes screaming 'Howw could you?' she couldn't help but snicker when she put the extra 'w' in her mind's eye... err... ear. Gamzee stopped the loving snog, pulling away from Fef's face.

"Now just wait a motherfucking second... THESE LIPS TASTE LIKE MOTHER FUCKING FISH SHIT! What is this, Jade?" He moved Feferi's head to the side, staring into Jade's face with anger and craziness written all over his features. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU UP AND PULL THIS FUCKTASTIC MOTHER SHIT?" He swallowed, the corner of his lip twitching slightly. "Hmm? Jade? care to explain?" His hands were still on either side of her face, and he leaned in closer, blinking once. She shied back, never losing eye-contact, but still feeling paralyzed in fear.

"Uhh..."

"HEY FUCKASS!"

Gamzee's eyes flickered for just a moment before his head shot to the left. Karkat hovered over him, holding a tin in his hand.

"MERRY FUCKING TWELF PEDIGREE!" He slammed the tin into his face, sopor slime pie splattering in all directions, including Jade's face. She spluttered and coughed for a few moments, and looked up at Gamzee, who seemed to have calmed down, and was currently climbing off of his postion on top of her, licking the slime off of his face.

"Hey thanks bro. Didn't up and know it was that time of sweep again... shit. I didn't up and get you anything, bro. Mother fucking sorry, man." He apologized with a huge grin on his face as he moved his finger to his face to swipe slime off of places that his tongue could not reach, popping his finger into his mouth after every swipe. She sat up herself, letting out a sigh of relief, and looking up at Karkat to voice her thanks. When she looked up at him, their gazes met, and he nodded his head slightly, as if to say _'don't say anything, I don't want to hear your annoying ass voice. you're welcome anyway. This shit happens all the time. Come to me if it ever happens again.' _

_Damn! He can get a lot of words into one look..._

The extremely verbose expression on his face quickly dissapeared, though, when she decided that the slime on her own face was rather uncomfortable as it slid down her skin, and the easiest way to remove it would be to follow in Gamzee's footsteps.

"NO FUCK SHIT DON'T- ahh fuck she already did."

"WOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Jade's eyes dilated almost immediately, and she smiled widely, deciding that she didn't give a flying fuck about anything that happened now. She was mother fucking... flying... sister.

Karkat rolled his eyes, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. "Well fuck. Now we're gonna get jack shit done, we're gonna be so busy babysitting this slimed fuckass."

"All's cool bro." Jade shot Karkat a thumbs up. "Ya'll can just leave me here. I'm chill with up and starin at the pink." she lolled her head to the side, flopping back into the mud (made by combining dirt and blood).

"No we're not just 'up and leaving you here!' FUCK!" He began pacing from side to side, both Gamzee and Jade following his movement with their heads, goofy smiles plastered to their faces. Karkat glanced down at them for a moment, then turned his sights mainly on Gamzee.

"Well?"

"Huh?"

"Are we ever going to get back to you explaining what the FUCK this game shit is?"

"Oh..."

"Yeah. Oh." Karkat glowered.

"Bitch tits man. I'll up and explain all this shit! Hellz yeah! I'll be explaining like-"

"Dont turn into Dave." Eridan cut in, getting glares from both Karkat and Dave. He lifted his shoulders for a moment before dropping them, and continuing his task of re-cleaning Feferi's 'violated' face (according to him).

After a few moments of extreme sexual tension between these different trolls, lingering mainly in the Kismesis quadrant, Gamzee finally broke the silence by jumping into the longest and most easily understood description of Sgrub. The trolls who were listening [except for Jade, who had discovered that her sylladex was EXTREMELY entertaining, and there was a bunch of dancing fruit inside in which she had never really taken much of an interest in (But now were mother fucking miraculous)] were consequently enamored by his sudden (and rather unfitting) burst of intelligence, none of them knowing that somehow, probably through the laziness of the author (who really sees no purpose in explaining something that every mspaint reader who has gotten past act 2, gotten really confused, and gone to said site should know), and that he got a hold of a link to MsPaint Wiki. For the next hour and a half, (as Jade, in a rather giggly mood poked her fruit, and started singing things such as "fruity Tooty") Gamzee explained to the listening trolls the ins and outs of Sgrub, telling them all they needed to know (and more) before prototyping their first sprite. In a very lazy nutshell, he showed them the walkthrough.

Jade was not listening.

Due to...

_Prior_ engagements.

"Hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe! Their smiley faces are all funny!"

* * *

**A.N. Normally, here is where I would end the update. But I promised a longer update, so this is part 2!**

* * *

**"So we**

**"So we**

**AN: GOD DAMNIT, DOC SCRATCH, STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MY BOLD FA**CE.

* * *

"So we prototype a frog and a paperclip, fuck the hell out of Gate 1, and then get the next troll in the Incipripcate by sundown?"

"Incipisphere."

"Shut the hell up, you dual brain wielding fuckasses."

"Okay." Rose and Kanaya lifted their hands in the air at the same time, smiling slightly at Karkat's bulls eye at their personality. Kanaya put her hands down, and continued her spiel. "But I believe we can comission whatever we fancy for the second prototype after we enter the medium. As the Miracle driven Juggalo so clearly stated, only pre-entry prototypes increase the vim and durability of the imps. For all the game cares, we could prototype the disembodied and reconstructed apex of Feferi's constitution, and re-animate her."

"Agreed." Rose pitched in quietly, smiling slightly. "But you see, I don't see the purpose of that since the predicament with Gamzee and his unintentional snogging of her head. As he explained, her dersite self should have taken over her soul the moment their lips made contact."

"Still up and tasted like mother fucking fish."

"Silence. We are thinking."

"Can mother fucking do!"

"These fruit need to sing."

"You too, Jade."

"aww! Why, I don't wanna!"

"So, as I was saying, I thi-"

"Wwait! Does fish mean that fef is alivve?"

"Fruit!"

"Yes, so as I was-"

"Hold on! Tho if we join the game, I'll thee FF again?"

"FRUITY FRUIT!"

"Quite possibly. As I was sayi-"

"Yeah but I'll get to sea her first. Rails before pails!"

"FRUIT IN PAILS!"

"How can you even thay that when you want to fill pailth with her too? You're thutch a troll who-"

"OH MY FUCKING GOG! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE SMART PEOPLE TALK FOR MORE THAN 2 FUCKING SECONDS! WE'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO DEAL WITH THAN PAILS!"

"Actually, if we are to restart our world, pails will be relatively import-" Kanaya stopped talking when Karkat shot her a death glare. She quickly returned to the topic at hand. "On to entering the game. Since the game will start off easy, and grow exponentially in difficulty after each prototype, I think we should send in-"

"FRUIT!" Jade very intelligently interjected, her attention still completely on the jiggling jumping smiling fruits in front of her. Gamzee turned his head from staring up at Kanaya, to down to Jade. She was laying on her stomach, happily poking and prodding the squirming fruit as she quietly hummed to herself in her sopor induced mindset. He grinned childishly, and flopped on his back, rolling toward her with a large grin on his face. As he was growing closer, he bumped into something.

"Mother fuckin oof!" He looked up to see a pair of dark shades as Dave looked down at him for a few seconds, standing in between him, and his flush crush. He looked down at him for half a second, expressionless, and then spoke.

"I got this." He bent down, grabbing Jade around the waist, and flipping him onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and using one of his hands to support her weight. She wrapped her legs around him, giggling slightly at the fact that this was her first piggy back ride on a troll rather than Bec. "Kay. Jade, we're going to go for a walk."

"REALLY :O"

"Yup. Really. We're gonna walk till all that green shit is outta your system, spitting out ironic rhymes and just chilling like the cool-ass fuckers we are."

"Can we bring my fruit?"

"Sure." Dave captchalogged the fruit. "You ready?"

"Yeah :D! 3"

"Right. Here we go." He glanced one more time down at Gamzee before walking slowly away. "You guys get all the shit straightened out. I'll get her outta here for a bit."

"Thank you." Kanaya gave Dave a kind smile. He nodded curtly, and took his slow walk into a moderate jog, Jade giggling wildly as she bobbed up and down on his back.

Gamzee frowned. "Mother fucker... Now I'm all up and upset. Harshes my mood, bro."

"Okay... So as I was saying, again," Kanaya started up her previous sentence, ignoring Gamzee as he rolled on the floor, hugging a very creepy looking doll. **  
**

"We need to send the weakest troll into the game first."


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N. I love you all. And, if you want, post ships you want to see in this story in the reviews, and I'll see if I can make em' happen (If they fit in with my plans e.e) Okay I need to post this before it dissapears from my brain. School n stuff started, n' now I'm scrambling to find time to write. So here's a short one just for you guys while I try to find time to write some large sizeded ones. The next chap will come in either 5,000 words, or I'll post two in the same day. Either way, SORRY!**

"uhh... why... Why am I chosen as the... uhh... weakest?"

The stares that were shot at him after his comment were enough to have him flinch back. "Oh... uhh... Right..."

Tavros was chosen.

And he was terrified.

But not because he had to go into this blind and alone. Oh no. that was far from the truth. He was terrified because he WASN'T going alone. It was a unanimous decision that the game would be played with a few rule bendings, thanks to Gamzee and his "rule book." One of those bent rules was that only half of the people were going to be client players, and the other half was going to accompany one of the clients to their world.

So, in short, they paired up.

Kanaya Rose.

Karkat Dave.

Sollux Eridan.

Equius Nepeta Terezi (These three would enter last).

Gamzee Jade.

And Tavros Vriska.

THAT was what he was afraid of.

It was like they drew straws to pick the pairings, and only a few got what they wanted.

Which… is… Kind of exactly what they did. What a coincidence that everyone seemed to be paired either **Perfectly….** Or… The exact opposite of perfectly. Tavros was one who got the short end of the stick, there.

So, now, as he stared at the trolls with frightened eyes, Vriska standing above him with an evil sneer on her mouth, he could feel his brown blood draining from his face.

_Rufio. Rufio, help me! If Rufio was here, he would stand up, and demand that he had a different partner! He would! And so should I!... Yeah. I'm going to do it! _He looked up into the trolls faces, the boundless determination he just gained quickly draining from him once more. "Uhh..."

"Let's get started!" Vriska almost shouted over him, pushing down on the handles of his wheelchair, causing the front to lift off the ground. She leaned against it, causing his seat to wobble up and down constantly, threatening to tip. Fortunately, if it tipped, Vriska wouldn't have an arm rest, so she kept it upright. For now.

"Wait, hold on, fuckass!" Karkat shot Vriska a look. "Don't you think we should PROBABLY think about this some more before we throw you both into the Land of Shit and Fuck?"

"Nope!"

"I, for once, side with Vriska on this endeavor. I believe the game should be instigated promptly. We can continue discussions once the duo is inside the game. Communication should, and will not be cut between those in the incicosphere, and those not." Rose crossed her legs, sitting on an old tree stump next to Kanaya, looking up at the group with her purple eyes. Kanaya nodded curtly, blinking once.

"Uhh... Can't we... uhh... at least wait for Jade and... uhh... Dave to get back?"

"Whyyyyyyyy?" Vriska wailed, leaning closer to Tavros with a grimace and a whine. Tavros flinched slightly, frowning.

"So they... uhh... know what's going on?"

"Hmm... Tavroth theems to make a point there. We need everyone to be on the thame page before we dive headfirtht into thith."

"Uuuuuuuugh fiiiiiiiine!" Vriska let out an exasperated sigh.

* * *

"FLOWERS!"

"yes."

"TREES!"

"Yes."

"GRASS!"

"Yes."

"ROBOTS!"

"Broken ones, yes."

"GLASSES!"

"Yes."

"ISSSEDUUFLLEMMMUH!"

"Uhh... Yes."

"WHOO!"

"Yes."

* * *

"Okay. I'm done waiting. Let's get going." karkat let out a sigh. "It's not like they'll be too confused. We'll just explain it when they get back."


	17. Chapter 17

"Okay. I'm done waiting. Let's get going." Karkat let out a sigh, glancing around the group of trolls who had all sprawled on the floor, attempting to keep themselves entertained. Kanaya and Rose sat idle in the corner, whispering and giggling together. Nepeta was pouncing through the grass as Equius frantically chased her around. Sollux seemed to have grabbed every computer in the wagon, and was messing with each one individually, with Eridan hovering over him and generally being an annoying ass. Vriska, who had finally knocked over her arm rest, decided Tavros's next job was to be a pillow. She rested her head on his stomach as he struggled to sit up. "It's not like they'll be too confused. We'll just explain it when they get back."

Vriska opened her eyes for a moment, looking over at Karkat. "Oh thank Gog... Tavros is squirming too much for a good nap anyway..." She sat up, stretching a bit before turning to face the fallen bull. She let out a sigh, placing his wheelchair in upright position and then plopping him in it with only one little mumble of 'psh... useless..." She rolled her eyes as she focused on Karkat again. "So how are we gonna do this?" She sat on the armrest of Tavros's wheelchair, tossing an arm over one of Tav's horns.

Karkat glared at the two for a moment before turning to Gamzee, who was currently attempting to blow bubbles with sopor slime. It wasn't working very well. "Well, with the information Gamzee has given us, I think it's best if the trolls entering last were the ones who controlled you guys. We'll move in an invert from there so everyone is doing something simultaneously, speeding up the process. Sound good?" Trolls around the circle nodded. Gamzee let out a small laugh as he finally succeeded in making a small bubble. He snatched it out of the air with his teeth.

Vriska stared at him for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Okay so how do we start?"

"Oh thath thimple enough. While we were waiting, I inthtalled the therver and client thoftware on every top, tho we don't have to wait for that. Equiuth and Nepeta can take their computer, and jutht thart up and go. It thould be that thimple." As he spoke, he never looked up from his incessant typing.

"God your liTHHHHHHHHp is so annoying." Vriska taunted, rolling her eyes as she hopped off of Tavros's wheels, and spun to grab the handlebars. "But whatever. Where do you want us?" She pushed Tavros's wheelchair so it was popping a wheelie, and then wheeled him to the edge of the camp. Sollux glanced up for half a second, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before closing the first top and tossing it to Equius.

"Oh it doethn't matter, really. There'th going two be a bunch of weird ath gadgeth around... EQ, Jutht open the therver program, and follow the directionth. God damnit, ED, get off my fuckin' back!" Sollux turned to face Eridan, who was constantly prodding and poking him, and shoved him backward. Eridan fell, and hissed at him. Sollux only laughed wryly, turning his attention back to Equius, who had opened the top, and had begun typing.

After a while, the first gizmo apparated out of thin air, and thunked to the ground, crushing flowers and small robot parts underneath it. The trolls flipped their shit for a few moments, freaking out about the random apparition of a random gizmo, and only calmed down after they were assured that it was supposed to happen. After that, each separate tool dropped consecutively and without problems(Albeit a lot of excitement the moment the alchemiter dropped). Due to the close proximity of every machine, and the incessant poking and prodding of Vriska wanting to get the show on the road, and irons in the fire, the first pair of trolls were in the medium within 2 minutes, them and their little circle of gizmos disappearing in a flash of white light, leaving a small crater behind. The remaining trolls stared at the crater, slightly awestruck at the hole in the ground, and the silence that followed the SpiderBitch leaving.

Oh the silence was heavenly.

"Yo hey we're back. I think Jade's pretty much off of her high now. Holy shit you shoulda' seen her though. She was flippin' bulges out there, screaming and raving about flowers, robots, glasses and shit. I swear, I thought we had entered some magic land of happiness and joy. She was all over the place, just fucking shit up and dancing like a fuckin' troll hippie. Hell, she'd make one bitch of a 'mirthful follower' with her crazy antics and high as fuck dancing. I mean, shit, she rivals Gamzee over there... It's just one large ass clown ride of facepaint between the two. Next thing ya' know, she's going to be wearing dog ears and chucking mini planets at us or some shit... I swear though- oh hey where'd that crater come from? Did you guys have a party without us? It looks like someone decided to drop some bombs down or some shit. Some very smooth, symetrical bombs. How the hell is that hole so fucking round? It's like someone came with a giant ass Tree-Fruit carver, and just popped a chunk from the ground. And where's Vris and Tavvey? They just decided to up and lea-"

"Oh for FUCKS SAKE CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET US EXPLAIN?" Karkat screamed, cutting Dave's rant short.

Oh the silence was short lived.

Dave stared at Karkat through his shades, Jade asleep on his back, her arms slung haphazardly over his shoulders, her head lolling to the side. She squirmed a little at Karkat's yelling, but otherwise stayed still. Dave scrunched his nose at Karkat's yelling, and gently placed Jade on the ground before walking closer to Karkat, stopping only a foot away. He towered over the short troll, looking down at him. "Alright then." His voice was low and calm. "Care to explain?" Karkat quickly backed up, coughing awkwardly as he began his explanation. Dave only half listened the whole time, zoning out and staring at different things around the trolls' hang out place, the sleeping Jade, the random crater off to the left.

"...Just entered what Gamzee calls the medium. We decided that Gamzee and Jade are going to be the next to enter, and you, me, and Terezi are going to watch over them. Sound simple enough for your pea brain?" Karkat finished up, only gaining Dave's attention at the last moment. Dave looked up from staring at one flower.

"Oh. Uhh.. Yeah. Totally, dude. I got this shit in the bag. Brain's full of understanding. Don't worry, man, I got this. Let's get going! Now we just need to find Vriska and Tavros, and we'll be on our way, right?"

Karkat stared at him for a moment, his jaw dropping open. After about 2 seconds, he snapped it shut, his eyes narrowing into angry slits. His voice was low and pissed. "Were you even listening at all?"

"No not really."

"Fuckass."

"Same to you." Dave's wink was lost in translation. Or at least, lost behind his shades. Karkat tossed his hands into the air as he retreated to Sollux, grabbing his own computer. "Fuck this shit. I'll just do it all! Don't need your help. Fuck my life. Why do I get paired up with this douche?"

"Hey you got me too!" Terezi cut in, laughing a bit. Karkat only turned to face her, pointing an accusing finger at her face.

"You're just a... neh... AHH! Both of you!" He tossed his hands in the air, not realizing his previous sentence made no sense whatsoever. "I hate my life!" Terezi froze a bit, scrunching her eyebrows in confusion.

"Gog, what climbed up your nook and died, Karkat?" Terezi followed behind Karkat as he walked his top to a corner of the field, and opened it, sitting down and folding his legs under him. She sat next to him and watched as he opened the server program.

Gizmos and gadgets began popping into existence, albiet a bit more angry than the previous ones. Karkat opened a few screens, and glanced around the computer's interface. "It looks like making this stuff costs Grist, like Gamzee said, and the game gave us enough to get two people in before we have to start earning it ourselves. So Vriska and Tavros are going to have to start killing some imps soon, and Gamzee." He turned to the troll who had gotten bored with blowing bubbles a while ago, and now was hovering over a sleeping Jade, poking her cheek. He glanced over.

"Yeah, bro?" He smiled.

Karkat only rolled his eyes. "When you and Jade enter, you need to start killing imps as soon as possible. We're going to need a lot of grist to keep going."

Gamzee's smile faded a bit. "Aww, bro, what did the imps ever do to you?"

"Just do it."

"Alright, bro, but their blood is on your hands." He grinned again as the final gizmo was dropped onto the ground.

The process was repeated, the other bored trolls picking up totem lathes and such and helping out until Gamzee had a sleeping Jade over one shoulder, and a glowing purple bottle of faygo in the other. He grinned, surrounded by the machines that had popped out of nowhere, and the magical faygo in his hand. He looked at the group of trolls impatiently waiting him to be off, and said his parting words. For shits and giggles.

"Mother fucking miracles, that's what this shit is. See you later!" He drank the Faygo, and with a flash of light, was gone.

* * *

A.N. Okay now that they are in the medium, I can start focusing on more individual things... the real story starts now XD


End file.
